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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Shackled
Lost between
despair and faith
ever since the day
...i faded away
i stare in the
mirror a blank
shell stares back
Where are you?
rage wells up
from deep inside
scorching anger
swallowed screams
Nothing left to lose
i try to focus
all i see is a fake
smile wary eyes
a timeworn facade
the mask of pain
LOOK AT YOU.
the Anger swells
the mirror screams
my fist crashes
glass shatters
bloody mess
fatal mind
curled up in
fetal position
...i need to
get me an axe.
despair and faith
ever since the day
...i faded away
i stare in the
mirror a blank
shell stares back
Where are you?
rage wells up
from deep inside
scorching anger
swallowed screams
Nothing left to lose
i try to focus
all i see is a fake
smile wary eyes
a timeworn facade
the mask of pain
LOOK AT YOU.
the Anger swells
the mirror screams
my fist crashes
glass shatters
bloody mess
fatal mind
curled up in
fetal position
...i need to
get me an axe.
Published 29th Aug 2016
| Edited 3rd Dec 2024
Author's Note
PF - Coming Back To Life.
https://youtu.be/Ld5Fwycc0qQ
https://youtu.be/Ld5Fwycc0qQ
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 0
comments 26
reads 842
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
29th Aug 2016 3:28am
29th Aug 2016 3:37am
Thanks so much dear, your comment means a lot te me!
I knew if someone would understand this piece, it would be you...
Love, Duende
I knew if someone would understand this piece, it would be you...
Love, Duende
29th Aug 2016 6:24am
29th Aug 2016 7:32am
Anonymous
30th Aug 2016 3:46pm
<< post removed >>
Thanks for your comment, much appreciated!
Hmm... that's an offer I can't refuse ;-)
Hmm... that's an offer I can't refuse ;-)
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
30th Aug 2016 9:42pm
<< post removed >>
Both...
Thanks for your comment, that means a lot te me!
I know the phrasing is harsh, but that came effortlessly though writing the poem was everything but easy...
Thanks for your comment, that means a lot te me!
I know the phrasing is harsh, but that came effortlessly though writing the poem was everything but easy...
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
1st Sep 2016 1:26am
<< post removed >>
1st Sep 2016 5:16pm
That's so true, Todski!
Everything is better than keeping it inside... I'm glad I found Poetry!
Everything is better than keeping it inside... I'm glad I found Poetry!
Anonymous
31st Aug 2016 10:22pm
Amazing dark write. Full of intense emotion. All of which can be felt.
Brilliant ink 💓
Brilliant ink 💓
Thank you so much for your comment!
That you could feel the emotion is the greatest compliment I can get :-)
That you could feel the emotion is the greatest compliment I can get :-)
2nd Sep 2016 10:02am
2nd Sep 2016 10:24am
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 11:45am
4th Sep 2016 2:37pm
<< post removed >>
Thank you so much for your comment, I appreciate it!!!
I think a lot of people can connect with this poem, that's why (after some hesitation) I decided to post it...
It's one of my favorite songs by Pink Floyd!
I'm so glad you know it, because most people are unfamiliar with it...
I think a lot of people can connect with this poem, that's why (after some hesitation) I decided to post it...
It's one of my favorite songs by Pink Floyd!
I'm so glad you know it, because most people are unfamiliar with it...
5th Sep 2016 6:22am
Ball and chain, I felt this one endlessly
because it's grasp'd by my own depths
Chills love, chills and flashes you gave me
while roaming here in your lands.
-Howlings
because it's grasp'd by my own depths
Chills love, chills and flashes you gave me
while roaming here in your lands.
-Howlings
5th Sep 2016 12:12pm
Wow Howlings, you blow me away with your comment!
That you could feel my words and that they gave you chills is the most beautiful compliment you can give me! Thank you so much, I truly appreciate it!
That you could feel my words and that they gave you chills is the most beautiful compliment you can give me! Thank you so much, I truly appreciate it!
Anonymous
5th Sep 2016 8:09am
So many of us have looked into a mirror and wondered where we've gone.
I particularly like what you've done here:
I try to focus
all I see is a fake
smile wary eyes
With the line breaks and no punctuation, this can be read quickly through as is, or if one stops to just take a look at it, there's a bit of an echo, and unspoken repetition here that highlights what you're saying, what you're seeing in your mirror: All I see is a fake; a fake smile; smile wary; wary eyes. I found that really interesting when my eyes drew me to it.
I particularly like what you've done here:
I try to focus
all I see is a fake
smile wary eyes
With the line breaks and no punctuation, this can be read quickly through as is, or if one stops to just take a look at it, there's a bit of an echo, and unspoken repetition here that highlights what you're saying, what you're seeing in your mirror: All I see is a fake; a fake smile; smile wary; wary eyes. I found that really interesting when my eyes drew me to it.
5th Sep 2016 12:21pm
Thank you so much for your comment and for mentioning that stanza!
It took me longer than the rest of the poem and I tried a lot of adjectives to match my 'eyes' before I was satisfied with the result... I'm so happy that you noticed what I was trying to create in those lines :-)
I appreciate your feedback tremendeously!
It took me longer than the rest of the poem and I tried a lot of adjectives to match my 'eyes' before I was satisfied with the result... I'm so happy that you noticed what I was trying to create in those lines :-)
I appreciate your feedback tremendeously!
12th Sep 2016 1:46pm
12th Sep 2016 1:57pm
Yeah... there was (is) a lot of rage...
Thanks for you comment, much appreciated!
Thanks for you comment, much appreciated!
15th Sep 2016 4:32pm
....the powerful beauty of unbridled anger after the fall, nothing to lose, Nothing at all.
#powerfulink
#powerfulink
15th Sep 2016 5:18pm
25th Sep 2016 1:54am
Felt like I was looking into myself while reading this. Nicely done. <3
25th Sep 2016 9:14am
Thank you so much for your comment!
It's always nice to hear that it resonates with someone... thanks for sharing ♥
It's always nice to hear that it resonates with someone... thanks for sharing ♥
