Now & Then

I remember when a time without you brought tears
But there is a difference between now and then...
Change.
See change determined for you who you would lie next to
Change determined for me to see what lies beneath you
Under your beautiful manicured feet was me
You see, I didn't realize how much weight you had placed on me
Love is really blind cuz at the time I saw what I wanted to be mine
And I grasped it and didn't let go
No matter how much the rope  ripped against my hand
I still held on
To a vision which was untrue,
My made up vision of you
I was blinded by the affection, I couldn't see
The future resentment and rejection you held for me,
4 long years you held my strings,
I was your puppet for entertainment to dance and sing
But today,
I slice through these strings like a razor to my veins
Trying to get the blood from within OUT
Trying to get that yearning for you OUT
Sometimes I wish I could rip open my rib cage and release the rage that has grown inside for you
I was ready to commit my whole life to you
But as I said, there is a difference between now and then
That yearning for you, that need for you, that fire for you has burned out
Nothing but ashes left to clear out
The trust is gone, there is nothing left to build on
Anything else attempting to recreate itself will fall
You had your chance but you fucked off....