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Image for the poem Caligula

Caligula


I have all the letters of the lexicon at my disposal.
I once took a capital L & placed an o next to it, then a v,
& finally an e. it was magnificent; I thought it was the
greatest thing a man could possess. but then it crumbled
to dust, blowing in the wind.  now I don’t give an F, whether
it’s followed by a u & a c & a k, or not…

I search for myself, this romancer, this poet, who composes
sonnets & offers them to Juliet, to Ophelia, & to my coy
mistress when she steps out of her robes. she will listen but
not believe, she will kiss but not love, & she will abandon
before being abandoned.

but a man can eat his words. he can eat the air that is chastised
of poison by the flowers & trees. he can suck the tears between
his lips as they pour from inclement eyes, when the sky is blank &
arid, & bend to the rain washing down his cheeks when he can’t
cry any more.

and when he wants the taste of sin on his tongue, the bitter
squirting of deception & betrayal scalding his throat, & little curly
hairs caught in his teeth, he can eat a woman.

there is a long road that leads away from here. there are harlots &
there are maidens, who hide from the perversions that would lure
them to a bed of their own iniquity, but they’ll take it if I give it to
them. seducer of dirty things, who casts love in the gutter like
soiled condoms.

this is where my heart ends & the rest of me begins…


(Art: Micke Berg)


Written by JohnFeddeler
Published
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