I love you but I hate you

Feelings fade
Feelings fade,
But the pain
Lingers in the chambers
Of your chest
When you take a breath
And all you feel is fire.
The fire of your time wasted
With the wrong person
And your secrets walk away
In heels and a sundress.
There goes your heart
There goes your heart.
I still remember your smell
Your perfume crept into my nose
And I knew then you were home
But now all I know
is an extra pillow
and an empty crib.
How do I forgive,
Pulling my baby from my arms
In the middle of the night
It was so wrong
How could you.
And through my anger
I still write about you.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Come back to me
I mean get away
I don't know
Whether you should go or stay
I'm too insecure to move on,
But I'm too proud to take you back.
Or too angry.
Or too stupid.
There goes my innocence.
In heels and a sundress
Looking better than ever
Before
You whore,
I mean my love.
I mean
can I get some stregnth god
Some warmth from above
Or some wisdom.
Because my hearts mind
Has become a prison
Projecting light like a prism
I wish there was an ism
To better explain this continous
Infectious
Relentless
Emotional escapade
That your face
provokes.
I love you and I hate you
And if I could i would replace you
But you're who I see
When my baby
smiles at me.
She looks just like you,
To my demise
I can't escape you.
I hate you.