Pivotal

1 2 3 chances to change my life
Yet I went silently into the night
A closed mouth doesn't get fed
You live on in every tear I shed
The pinnacle of what could have been
But.. what… if
I could go back again
I’d chose to be more than friends
I’d be your lover, your wife
Maybe then you'd be here tonight,
Instead of me wrestling with the truth
I was scared you
Scared of your love
Of all the things you wanted for us
I wasn't ready for it
So I ran from it,
Every time you called
I was on the brink of us
Of giving into my heart
Silly me
Don't know what I was thinking

This guilt has lasted a millennium
In only a matter of years
I didn't know how crucial
Those calls would be
How pivotal they were
Sigh… it haunts me
Is it my fault that we split?
Was it some stupid shit?
Regardless, you are missed
This flatline I've walked
Leads directly back to you
Directly to the love we once knew
They’re no ways to reclaim it
Or bring any closure
Ugh…. I feel that night
Over and over
Something was wrong, call it a gut feeling
Like an omen or premonition
Little did I know the tragedy unfolding
The road less traveled was closing
A connection broken, a piece of me gone
That’s when I first knew, you had passed on.