The Beginner's Guide to Hitting Rock Bottom

Talk to boys online; fall in love easily.
Go to parties that start at nine, but show up fashionably late, of course. Wear
Crop tops and daisy dukes. Halfway through the night get wasted
On cheap beer and tequila and take off your shorts.
Don't leave until eleven the next morning.
Perfect the walk of shame. Love the way your feet hurt from being in stilettos
For hours upon hours, learn how to do the finger comb. Turn up to work an hour late in your party dress
With makeup smeared over your cheeks
And kiss marks on your chest. There's a hickey on your shoulder.
Smoke until there's no such thing as worry. Worry a lot.
Smoke a lot. Bum cigarettes off of people you meet,
Apologize, "I'll pay you later". Never pay them.
Make friends for one night,
Go the bar and meet them. Dance with boys at one o'clock in the morning. End up in the back of a car
With your shirt up and two hands underneath, caressing you. Moan loudly and pretend you're not ashamed of your behaviour.
Go out with said boy to breakfast. He will give you his number. Slyly smile and slip it into your back pocket, light up a smoke,
Go home.
Never call.
Learn that you are the victim.
Fall in love with girls, kiss them. Learn to love the feel of their bodies, soft and so sweet... get your heart broken, and break hearts. Push them away because "I can't hurt you. I'm broken."
Blame it on them.
Be depressed for a week, then be depressed a week longer.
Keep being depressed.
Pick yourself up off the ground and promise you'll get better. Promise yourself you won't cut your skin anymore, or starve yourself just to see your heart beating.
Become a better person for two days.
Meet a boy.
Fall in love with the way he walks, the way he talks. Fall in love with his freedom. He doesn't know you're broken yet, play him. String him along.
Fall back into your old ways. This time, take him with you. Get high a lot, get high with this boy a lot. Make love to him
In faded sheets in a fuzzy apartment on the West Side. Live with him for six months.
Wake up in the middle of the night because he's crying. He's bleeding a lot. He says to you, "I can't take it anymore".
Take him to the ER, and leave him there.
Use the last of your food money to buy a one way ticket out of the city. Take the bus. Pretend he never existed.
Move to the country for three years.
Learn how to be old. Get a call from your old college friend, before you dropped out. She found you and she wants you to come visit.
Promise to visit.
Don't come visit.
Stay in the country for another year. Fall in love with a man who truly loves you. Work double shifts and see him on weekends. He wants to move in. You're finally okay so you guys live together.
Get cheated on once.
Get cheated on twice.
Threaten to leave him. Don't leave him.
His girlfriend will get pregnant and he will leave you. So you quit the diner, you go back to the city. You show up at your friend's cracked door. You knock once and she answers.
Break down outside of her apartment.
Lose yourself.
Fall back into your old ways,
Never trust again.
Keep falling in love with broken men.
Depend on your friend to take care of you. She's going to kick you out for bumming off her. Bum off her until she does.
Live on the streets.
Go home with random men, let them buy you things.
Be the person your parents never wanted you to be.
Congratulations, this is rock bottom.