Bruised

Indecisive
Apathetic
Torn

A number of adjectives have been used to describe my inability to make decisions. I've always found it difficult to pick a side, choose a label, follow a movement blindly.

It's difficult to commit myself to something that seems so final and unchanging.

It's absurd to assume I won't change my mind in an hour, in a month; when I see the world a little differently.

I currently find myself in this unique position. Not indifferent; I feel like this is a forced indecision.

Black lives matter.
And they do.
I am not black and I don't drag the same heavy anchors marked with years of hatred and oppression behind me on a daily basis but I am not blind to the cruelty and injustice that occurs everyday. I feel for those who are forced to live in fear of their neighbors. I worry about those who feel like walking down the street at night with their hood up is a death sentence.

I want this to change.
Something must be done to protect the beautiful.

Blue lives matter.
And they do.
I am not a police officer and I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders but I am not blind to the difficulty of trying to keep a nation divided safe and sound. I fear for those who are forced to enforce laws they may not agree with. I worry about those who go to work everyday in fear that they won't ever come home to kiss their children goodnight.

I want this to change.
Something must be done to protect the beautiful.

My life matters but it doesn't matter more than yours. Black or blue. I still bleed red and so do you.