deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dead To Me
Alone in this world unknowing what to expect a lost little girl searching for her dad. Dads are suppose to protect their little girls from to pain. But you betrayed me and made me into the blame. You left me alone without a good-bye. You said that I was dead in your eyes. And so I went through my days afraid that you would return and that you would finish what you attempted last time, trying to end your daughter's life. All I could hear was you saying that I am dead to you and after many days and nights I figured why not make it true. Found an old rope and tied to the side of a bridge, the other end around my neck. The wind blew at my hair as I looked at the world one last time before I took a leap, and attempted for the first time at ending my life. But I failed and I am still here, you're gone but for this I don't shead a tear. You were here as my father, a sperm donor and that is it. I do not cry because you are gone, I cry because you destroyed my life. A daughter wants nothing more in this world than to be daddy's little girl. But if my life I failed and you abandoned me with a rope to hang myself with, you will never know the betrayel I have felt, you were suppose to love me and I can even recall you saying you never wanted me. And here I am, years have passed since I saw you last and I wonder if I would have been a different person if I had a father's love. Would I have been so wild and would I be so cold and dark now? Someone would think I would want to find you and show you the mess you made of me, find you so that you may see that I am not the perfect little girl that I tried to be in your eyes. But I don't want to see you and I don't want you to see me, what can I say father-- You're dead to me.
Published 20th Jul 2011
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