deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ghost Walk
I have walked a thousand wasted,broken miles.
I bear the burden of the flaming spires of sorrow.
My heart grows heavy,struggling with the plight of non-existant dreams of amber.
With the moon at my back,silver beams shatter the dark and splinter into shards of burnt-out stars.
Still I follow;a ghost of a woman long since lost to unseen passages and hidden stones.
Know not my end,know not my secret sins
For unseeing eyes have no path to follow.
For as long as my lungs have strength of will to breathe
I carry on my listless quest to follow the moon and
Catch a flame so beautiful,
That to touch it is forbidden.
A quest unfinished shall be my life's work
My loveless,jaded masterpiece.
I bear the burden of the flaming spires of sorrow.
My heart grows heavy,struggling with the plight of non-existant dreams of amber.
With the moon at my back,silver beams shatter the dark and splinter into shards of burnt-out stars.
Still I follow;a ghost of a woman long since lost to unseen passages and hidden stones.
Know not my end,know not my secret sins
For unseeing eyes have no path to follow.
For as long as my lungs have strength of will to breathe
I carry on my listless quest to follow the moon and
Catch a flame so beautiful,
That to touch it is forbidden.
A quest unfinished shall be my life's work
My loveless,jaded masterpiece.
Published 16th Jul 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 820
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Jul 2016 7:13am
familiar roads. so easy to get lost
when there are no stars.
it's a plaintive verse...
when there are no stars.
it's a plaintive verse...
16th Jul 2016 7:23am
16th Jul 2016 9:55am
16th Jul 2016 9:19pm
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
16th Jul 2016 11:01am
<< post removed >>
16th Jul 2016 9:21pm
It's lovely writing... The flow was pleasant and inviting... except for...
Critique: I will always critique something I feel needs to be addressed. I'm no expert, and it's my own opinion usually, though, this critique is universal. So please do not take it as me picking on you, I plead for my work to be critiqued regardless of how it may sting. Give it to me and improve me, because that's the only thing that will. Having friends high-five your poem is great and I like it too, but it will never lend an ounce of help to your writing progression... :)
That being said, this critique is of little consequence anyway, but for future reference... ;)
Please, spacing after punctuation is important for the readers ability to relax and enjoy the words. That is all and thanks for sharing.. :)
-ed
Critique: I will always critique something I feel needs to be addressed. I'm no expert, and it's my own opinion usually, though, this critique is universal. So please do not take it as me picking on you, I plead for my work to be critiqued regardless of how it may sting. Give it to me and improve me, because that's the only thing that will. Having friends high-five your poem is great and I like it too, but it will never lend an ounce of help to your writing progression... :)
That being said, this critique is of little consequence anyway, but for future reference... ;)
Please, spacing after punctuation is important for the readers ability to relax and enjoy the words. That is all and thanks for sharing.. :)
-ed
19th Jul 2016 7:06am
Thanks for the critique.I'm always hoping to improve or even hear another opinion.Appreciated.
19th Jul 2016 7:39am
19th Jul 2016 7:44am
