Paperclips and Pencils

I should have warned you
Before you did it
Your childlike blindness
In such a confident mind
I don't want to die
But I have to end it
I killed myself once
Now no one trusts me
I guess I'll do it
Creatively
This time
Poetically
With paperclips
and pencils
The irony
I couldn't handle it mentally
But this pencil
And these clips
Would fit nicely
In my ribs

Fuck your bad feeling
Your love isn't real
Fuck your disbelief
Stop making excuses
Stop controlling my mind
Don't look or you'll see me
Don't read it or you'll hate it
Stop explaining your perfect life
In such mean collections
Of your harsh words
Teachers
Intellectuals
Psychologists
Lawyers
Business owners
Psychiatrists
You've ended me

No one cares anymore
I'm sorry
I wasn't brought up
Indecently enough
For your pity
I'm so pathetic
To complain about life
If it's been thrown at me
on a fork
But really
I'm too dumb to realise
I was handed life
On a spoon
And I'll use it
To scrape the shit
Out of my stomach
For my feats of gluttony
Caused evidence
Of my incomplete mind

Wow
How brilliant you are
I guess the bullshit
I've fed myself
Is so inconsistent
Like this poem
Because my black and white brain
Can't decide if I should die
Or go to heaven
And who's god
I guess I'm too inferior
To find out

Goodbye now
I hope this is a good enough
Suicide note

I hope I proofread my writing
I wouldn't want to offend you