Confused

I don't honestly remember
ever having a single hug
or a pat on the back
or even a mother or father's love
I hesitate to speak my mind
'cause everything I say
is always wrong in their eye.

I've been called things that made me cry
I hated myself and just wanted to die
there's nothing that hurts worse
than to be hurt by the ones you love
it's the worst pain in the world.

Every time I try to mention it to them
they try to deny it and put shame onto me
but if none of this is true
then why do I feel this way?
am I out of my mind?
or was I emotionally abused?
I don't know anymore
I'm so confused.