A Damn Close Shave

 The missus came home yesterday
dropped the car keys on the hook
She gazed at me with smiling eyes
Gave me that 'special 'look

She said I've had a real close shave
And need to plead my case
Oh Christ! I thought, my bloody car
And shot to the drive with haste

The car stood there without s scratch
I couldn't understand
The nature of her message
Sly wink so underhand

I haven’t touched your stupid car
She said so just relax
Then dropping drawers she lifted skirt
I've had a Brazilian Wax!