Khepri

He yawned and stretched, every bone crunched it seemed as he did so, "I'm too old for this" he thought. Everyday since he could remember he had done the same thing, 365 days a year 7 days a week. Khepri was also dying, he knew, and was actually quite looking forward to the rest. Not that anyone cared but today was his 2157th birthday...he figured he'd earnt a bloody good rest.

He aged as the years rolled by, as each morning he dutifully rolled the sun across the sky. Not that he had much choice in the matter, belief had not only brought him into existence but had preprogrammed him into doing what they believed he would or should be doing. Now as that belief waned it sapped his strength, all his knees creaked as once again with all his might he started to roll the sun into position ready for a new day.

Of all the cool gods that ever was or will be, why on earth did he have the suck luck of being a bloody great big dung beetle ??? Then again maybe it was apt after all the c**p he had to put up with from those down there. Ra got all the attention, well if Ra was so clever why didnt he get himself across the sky huh ? Did they not know all Ra was was great ball of burning gas, that up close had a whiff of rotten eggs truth be told.

Khepri was surprised at 2 things, firstly being surprised at anything was a huge surprise as an 'all knowing' being there shouldnt actually be any surprises at all. The second was at how much it annoyed him at the actual aging process. Creaky joints aside the worst was his failing eyesight and even worse than that his erratic bowel movements. 300 years ago he had got caught short at midday and had to relive himself in deep space (aim is very important millenia ago some other world deities were playing galactic pool, one missed the black hole an the resulting meteor had ended the dinosaurs)...s**t happens huh. He had panicked that day thinking he was late back, before he had time to realise Khepri had pushed the moon in front of the sun..oops. My god the panic down there, youd think the world was ending, and all those poor lambs that had been killed after he'd cleaned up the mess. If anything in life needed salvation Khepri believed it was the lambs.

Far below he saw the latest Pharaohs tomb still under construction, to be buried under the biggest pile of rocks he'd ever seen, dedicated the sun god himself. Personnaly speaking as a dung beetle Khepri thought that it would be far more gratifying if the dead king were to be interred in a huge pile of camel turds.
His time was ending, a new craze had spread across the globe. A belief in a one god, who had no image or idols or host of demigods. Khepri laughed to himself "A god of all existence that doesnt actually exist. Now thats gonna cause some arguments"
The day now over he dowsed the sun into the sea, sat heavily upon his sofa snacking on elephant dung he watched the distance night sky of Orions Belt before heading to bed. Did they not know he thought, that rolling across the sky was the easy bit ? Lighting a soggy wet sun in the dark, now that was a task for a real god