random rants

In this self-induced mental fog
medicated I breathe in
trying to relieve
and deceive the anxiety I feel
from above
nuclear bomb of thoughts dropping with tons of weight
that have me thinking about how deep the anxiety of my anxiety is .
you feel me ?
like I'm having anxiety about how much anxiety I'm having
it's unforgiving
how do I stop the anxiety that's building when
I'm having anxiety about controlling the anxiety I'm already feeling stealing the essence of me closing me off to the world
twirled into depression I swirl
I need that girl I really need love
I think I'll just jump off a roof hoping for some
love never comes
is love just a moment that some can hold on to ?
others lose ?
abuse or use?