Trials of a Lover

Disastrous
I’m in pieces
My limbs shake in sadness
I feel a stab of pain within me
I sense a calamity
Pangs of horrific torture
Enters my body in this confusion
God I need help
Please show me what to do
I want to drop everything
Do the right thing
Save myself
But is that what I really want?
I want to go on
Carry on
Hopefully
With a bit of effort
It’ll get better
And I won’t make any mistakes
But that’s just stupid thinking
It’ll only get worse
This pain is relentless
My body is tired
I can’t take it anymore
I should give up
But I don’t really want to
I want to grab onto
The smallest sign of hope
I’ll search
For the tiniest ray of light
In hope that I can find it
Go back to when I was happy
But something inside me
Tells me those memories are just that
Memories
It’s time to move on
Break away from old ties
Be myself again
But I don’t know if I want to listen
I don’t know if I want to follow
What my mind is telling me
Or my heart