deepundergroundpoetry.com
not as I do
for holy water crosses
sinners' bowed confessions
stiffening those shepherds
who love
and loathe low their flocks
with preachers screaming hellfire
in our Alabama nightmares
we pray - a mouse in the pew
hoping open the sky's iron door
and they call us John
because we prophesy when the apocalypse
storms through our veins
speak in tongues of honeycomb
and locust
split visions of past and future
all playing out at once
our visions blazing desolation
boiling, roiling desecration
staining every form of life
in implications of resurrection
and forthcoming salvation
we pray - we, a mouse at the pulpit
intercession
for the four corners of the earth
while there on bloody knees
with clean hands
our hungry words
they tumble in our throat
and turn to gauze
inside our mouth
sinners' bowed confessions
stiffening those shepherds
who love
and loathe low their flocks
with preachers screaming hellfire
in our Alabama nightmares
we pray - a mouse in the pew
hoping open the sky's iron door
and they call us John
because we prophesy when the apocalypse
storms through our veins
speak in tongues of honeycomb
and locust
split visions of past and future
all playing out at once
our visions blazing desolation
boiling, roiling desecration
staining every form of life
in implications of resurrection
and forthcoming salvation
we pray - we, a mouse at the pulpit
intercession
for the four corners of the earth
while there on bloody knees
with clean hands
our hungry words
they tumble in our throat
and turn to gauze
inside our mouth
Published 7th May 2016
| Edited 6th Mar 2023
Author's Note
#thoughts&prayers
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 3
comments 20
reads 1260
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th May 2016 1:06am
And, being fabric rather than speech, it still needs to be spat out.
As always, I found this interesting. It's unlike your prior work, it's cryptic in parts and then clear in parts. I enjoyed that. We all change, with time. I particularly liked
'in our Alabama nightmares
we pray -', 'speak in tongues of honeycomb
and locust
split visions of past and future,' and the last stanza.
Lovely to see you here.
As always, I found this interesting. It's unlike your prior work, it's cryptic in parts and then clear in parts. I enjoyed that. We all change, with time. I particularly liked
'in our Alabama nightmares
we pray -', 'speak in tongues of honeycomb
and locust
split visions of past and future,' and the last stanza.
Lovely to see you here.
8th May 2016 8:17am
thank you, Poppy [:
yes, it's a strange one. I haven't been writing much lately and might have been too cryptic as, I believe, the overall point may have been lost in the mingling of bitterness, hypocrisy and respect...still have editing and tweaking to do to wake it up, I think. thanks so much for stopping in [:
yes, it's a strange one. I haven't been writing much lately and might have been too cryptic as, I believe, the overall point may have been lost in the mingling of bitterness, hypocrisy and respect...still have editing and tweaking to do to wake it up, I think. thanks so much for stopping in [:
8th May 2016 5:05am
8th May 2016 8:18am
8th May 2016 7:57am
Makes me envy those who have the comfort of stable belief in a higher power willing to absolve them.
Fantastic piece.
Fantastic piece.
thanks much, Danny. [:
I envy that 'security', but also glad most of us know that nothing will get better if we don't get our hands a little dirty. coughing up prayers won't fix the world, however powerful one feels inside their higher power. thanks again for the comment, sir, and welcome to the DU [:
I envy that 'security', but also glad most of us know that nothing will get better if we don't get our hands a little dirty. coughing up prayers won't fix the world, however powerful one feels inside their higher power. thanks again for the comment, sir, and welcome to the DU [:
8th May 2016 9:01am
8th May 2016 3:47pm
Hullo, and welcome to DU, newbie
wasn't 100% sold on the first couple of lines. check second stanza: "because we prophesy"
I liked your thought process, and think when you settled into the second stanza there's a remarkable flow, and language which suits the topic very well. grand imagery at the end too.
this is definitely a worthy saddle in which to start your new journeys, so well done.
*had tip*
wasn't 100% sold on the first couple of lines. check second stanza: "because we prophesy"
I liked your thought process, and think when you settled into the second stanza there's a remarkable flow, and language which suits the topic very well. grand imagery at the end too.
this is definitely a worthy saddle in which to start your new journeys, so well done.
*had tip*
18th May 2016 10:19am
Eamonn, my dear....if you do insist on carrying on patronising me, we may fall out, darling [:
but thank you much for your critique...I do feel as if I'm starting over from the bottom. not sure why to check "prophesy", but I probably wasn't very clear on my meanings in the first couple of lines. my mind does something with that word path that maybe everyone else's doesn't, so I'll try to find a way to remedy that. thank you again, though, pops, for the sage advice [;
but thank you much for your critique...I do feel as if I'm starting over from the bottom. not sure why to check "prophesy", but I probably wasn't very clear on my meanings in the first couple of lines. my mind does something with that word path that maybe everyone else's doesn't, so I'll try to find a way to remedy that. thank you again, though, pops, for the sage advice [;
19th May 2016 3:39pm
no no, my fault entirely lady. I had thought 'we prophesise' (or however it's spelled) was the turn of phrase :)-
Anonymous
17th Jun 2016 3:42pm
i think this piece is....important.
some people of faith have no clue why people are calling their prayers empty and wasted breath. faith requires action, and this points to that. well done.
some people of faith have no clue why people are calling their prayers empty and wasted breath. faith requires action, and this points to that. well done.
17th Jun 2016 4:25pm
thanks very much, Minerva...I had hoped it wasn't too flouncy and it may be a bit wordy, but just getting back on my feet. I'm glad you saw what I hoped would be seen here. I feel a lot of times that one may say "God bless" and feel their good work is done... saw a lot of it growing up. thanks again for stopping by [:
19th Jun 2016 12:42pm
"they tumble in our throat
and turn to gauze
inside our mouth"
Lovely, enjoyed...
-ed
and turn to gauze
inside our mouth"
Lovely, enjoyed...
-ed
19th Jun 2016 11:11pm
My father was from deep south Georgia and my Mother Mississippi.
I've tasted that gauze in both church and the cotton fields.
Excellent write.
I've tasted that gauze in both church and the cotton fields.
Excellent write.
18th Sep 2016 11:39pm
It's been too long since I read one of your poems. This one was brilliant, but perhaps I say that because it reflects a theme that I love to see expressed in art. The tone of the piece is dark and the atmosphere sinister, but it is shot through with humanity. Thank you for the read. - Jack xxx
23rd Nov 2016 2:45pm
Congratulations! This poem has been nominated for Poem of the Month, December, 2016 - and will be featured on the site as well as our facebook page if selected the winner! You may view the nomination at the below link and will be notified if the winner.
Best of luck in the comp!
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9225/
Best of luck in the comp!
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9225/
19th Aug 2017 10:22am
the rituals and hypocrisy of the church has left me baffled for decades ... I don't go anymore but yet I pray and meditate, and talk with God ... I can't help it. The rituals have been engrained by grandfather, an ol' South Carolina minister ...
Your ink reminds me of the turmoil and inner conflict in the most sacred of chapels ... ourselves.
Your ink reminds me of the turmoil and inner conflict in the most sacred of chapels ... ourselves.
30th Aug 2017 9:40am
Poetic fire.... I felt the flames while reading and your flow was brilliantly captivating as you beautifully challenge our institutionalization of belief…masterful
27th Sep 2017 11:00pm
