I am Tapestry

This makes me want to cry. It's a beautiful piece of expression. ~Willow~

JJ handing out tissues... well, I wasn't expecting tears...
Thank you for commenting Willow! Deep expressions in poetry have a way of bringing forth deep emotions.
JJ

Note: If you are not a fan of Star Trek you may not get all the references and metaphors, but they're in there... my favorite episode of Star Trek TNG is one called Tapestry. If you are curious to know more about it check out this review.
http://www.tor.com/2012/11/06/star-trek-the-next-generation-rewatch-tapestry/
JJ

Oh JJ......this is so emotional......I see my self thru this......but look how far we've become.....we are here in this wonderful place touching hearts and sharing tears with super brilliant souls like you.......this touched me......purple luv & hugs xo :)

Oh garsh, my ego is patting me on the back now... thank you G! I am floating in purple luv tonight. Good thing you hugs are there to keep my head above the water. :)
JJ

I’m totally not a fan of Star Trek or Star Wars, so I’m one of the few that’s lost on the references, but I do
get the meat and potatoes of your message. So many beautiful and ‘lonely’ lines in this ink.  I
was quite captivated by the melancholy of it all.

Yes, you are correct, you don't need to have seen the particular episode that is the conceptual framework for this poem to grasp what it's about. But for me, I was so moved by that show the first time I saw it that it made me cry uncontrollably because I saw myself on the tv screen in Picard's own disappointment in what he had become when he knew he could be so much more. All I have to do is to think of that show and I become overwhelmed with deep sorrow and regret. I don't know how to overcome who I have become. I am no one but I know I can be more! If it ever happens that you have a chance to see the "Tapestry" episode of The Next Generation series, watch it for me... thank you for comment as always Tara! Much love, jj

really like and enjoyed the Star Trek metaphors - you really are a clever writer :-)

Yes David, I certainly know how to make it so... lol
Thanks for commenting!
JJ

This is a brilliant self poem. It's insane that after 3 days this gem has only had 16 reads. You were right in your poem, I
guess it's gotta be pornographic for you to give a shit. Like you said, if it doesn't say the three C'z it doesn't satisfy their addiction or help them masturbate. They don't know what they are missing and they pretend to be getting what will always be missing!

Very true Angel! It's the nature of the beast. DUP caters to Erotica Pornographa... Even my erotic poems don't get many comments because so many porn readers need their sex spelled out for them and words that have more than 4 letters or don't start with C are just not dirty enough. It's the same with bondage, if it's not violent and forced, they are numb to the pleasure of a lover that actually loves them. And the idea of a poem that celebrates Equal Opportunity Unity is shackling their high.
Thanks for commenting!
JJ

Aren't we all Travellers in time though...:) Poetryman. And we will all die alone. I followed Star Strek and Battlestar Gallactica in those days. I even watched Buck Rogers...:) I used to fantasize about such a life.
Anyway...good read as usual Poetryman.

Thank you for the comment Grace. I'm not so sure we do travel through time, even though it seems as though we exist from one moment to the next. It may be that all time and space exists simultaneously and our consciousness merely experiences itself in a linear fashion... I spend way too much of my linear moments contemplating ways of boldly going where no one has gone before...
Btw, where have you been?
JJ

"I know I can be more, I feel it transporting my soul to the heavens"

Oh, sir, you got me all teary-eyed!

I just read this poem at the time when I felt like I was finding myself again, as you know, and nowadays, "I feel it transporting myself to the heavens."  As I now consider you a friend and mentor of sorts, this poem makes me sad. The thought of dying alone, I think passes everyone's mind even just once. (I think that sounds silly coming from a teenage girl, haha.) But I think, at least, now, we - you - are not living alone, though our connections are online. People read your words and see the beauty of them. Sometimes the words said here give us more warmth and comfort than fickle conversations and hugs. We may die alone, but here we find company in our living. :) *virtual hugs*

Thank you for the comment and the hugs! Their are different types of friendships in the physical and virtual world, just like loneliness and sometimes they cross over, but one never replaces or displaces the other. I spend more time with virtual friends than physical ones these days. Living alone in the physical world is very hard. The touch of another person is a human need that is absent in my life and has been for a long time. That absence will be there when I die. How nice it would be if I had someone there in that moment so that the last thing I felt was the hand of someone I love holding mine and hearing that person say "I love you!" but as that never happens in my real world life, I'm sure it won't happen when it ends. That is indeed sad. I am only human so I take life as it comes just like I will take death when it comes. The good thing about life and death is that life comes in millions of moments one right after he other and death only happens to you once...
JJ

Trekkie poem - love it!

Thank you for adding your verb!
JJ

Such heartfelt ink. 💓
I love your expression and flow in this piece.
Deep self reflection can bring forth so many emotions.

This portion stood out to me-

"I know I can be more, I feel it transporting my soul up to the heavens  "

This tells me of the hope that exist within.
Something to cling to, on the days where inadequacy is magnified.

All of my poetry comes from my heart. I won't have it any other way...
The basis for this poem has been rumbling in my head ever since I saw the episode of Star Trek TNG called Tapestry about 23 years ago. I had a profound awakening while watching that show because it made me realize I had been wasting my life doing nothing and being no one. I have not been able to break out of that prison in all the years since then. This poem is a retelling of that story from my own perspective. I believe in honesty in poetry. No lies, no holding back, admitting to oneself the truth that is otherwise so easy to conceal... and then having the courage to tell everyone. And yet, there are still so many secrets trapped in the darkness of the past. I think I will never be free of the phantoms hiding in the shadows of my mind. Still, my hearts wants to be free...
Thank you for commenting from within the heart!
JJ

Vulnerability is a true beast.
For many it is beautiful, and I suppose that it is- however for me, it can be a fear. My true vulnerable self, is only fully expressed in my ink.
For me-while writing is the only true place that I am free. It is my escape. My outlet. The place I can be me- with zero reservation or limitations. No mask and no tension. No fears of hurting anyone or being judged.

For that- I understand.

A vulnerable, yet profound write with a great creative twist. Loved the originality...

Thank you Kasai! I don't usually use tv shows as inspirations for poems, but in his case it reflected my life so perfectly I just had to. I had watched the show last spring again on Netflix and it hit me all over again just like it did 23 years ago and the next thing you know I was writing a poem. I don't know why I didn't write a poem back then.  
 
Hmm, I just went to look at my chronological list of poems and I discovered something odd and interesting. I did not write any poems in 1993. In fact I only wrote 19 poems in the entire decade of the 1990's. I was deeply depressed during those years so it makes sense. My mind and my life was a mess and often considered suicide during those years. I wasn't able to write poetry and didn't care about it or any part of my life. I don't remember much of what was happening back then but what I do was unpleasant and I kinda wish I could forget most of that. Only the last couple of years in the 90's had any happiness, but only in brief spurts that I can recall.  
 
Usually my poetry is my method of venting, but my muse left me at a critical time in my life. I almost didn't make it through. In January of 1996 I was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure and that was causing a cascade of other health issues. That only made my depression all the worse. Looking back at that list of poems just now put a lot of things about my life in perspective that I hadn't thought about before. I'm lucky to be here now to create more poetry and try to enjoy life after having lost so many years to depression and hopelessness. Those were dark times in many ways, some so dark I can't see through the veil today...  
JJ

I suppose inspiration comes from places unexpected depending on where we are at that point in our lives. How very interesting to look back and learn from your own poetry written over the years. Depression is a never-ending battle and I think that maybe we forget some of those darker places for a reason.  Maybe we appreciate things more because of it, our health, our struggles won. Nice that you can still enjoy them, poetry included...

fascinating use of the star trek vehicle to express such human sadness - It's an excellent piece :-)

Thanks for the dejavu David!
JJ