Secrets

There's a million things I like to be,
My secret is what's inside of me.
I'm scared with no drive to be alive,
And no drive to just die.

There’s a secret inside,
It’s taking my mind,
Leaving only stress behind.
Guess what you’ll find!

I'm empty, a face placed on a mannequin,
I'm cold and lonely and shriveled in sin.
Lost on letters, words on my tongue,
Unable to remember how to have fun.

Remember that moment,
When I sat in contentment
Thinking this was all life had,
Thinking I should be mad?

I remember that second,
The moment when death beckoned,
Are you sure you’re glad I didn’t die?
Are you sure I shouldn’t try?

I wish I could just breathe in,
All the poison in the air,
I wouldn’t care who wins,
As long as I disappear.

I wouldn't mind if you took my soul,
I'm unable to reach that goal.
I wouldn't mind to sleep forever,
Or die in my sleep from a fever.

I’m a small thing,
Trapped within an endless daydream.
I’m learning how to sing,
And break my seams.

Remember that moment,
When I sat in contentment
Thinking this was all life had,
Thinking I should be mad?

I remember that second,
The moment when death beckoned,
Are you sure you’re glad I didn’t die?
Are you sure I shouldn’t try?

But what would you know?
What can you see?
I’m not sure what’s left to show.
But it’s certain it ain’t in me.

Honest, I’m escaping reality.
Truth, I’m afraid to be me.
But where will this all end?
Certainly you can see that, friend.

There’s a lot on this mind of mine,
And while I’ll scream I’m just fine,
What can you believe,
Coming from little old me?

Remember that moment,
When I sat in contentment
Thinking this was all life had,
Thinking I should be mad?

I remember that second,
The moment when death beckoned,
Are you sure you’re glad I didn’t die?
Are you sure I shouldn’t try?

I’m a liar, trapping all my desire.
I’m a fraud, with pants on fire.
I’m cutting myself open for all to see,
And I can’t believe all the deceit.

If I died tonight, would it be a crime?
To waste all that time,
I spent making myself perfect for you?
It's a secret that I'm sure you want me dead too.