Skin Deep

My mom always told me,
"Baby, you are beautiful."
I usually didn't know how to reply,
so a simple smile was always my go to.
A simple smile that spoke more than 1000 words as thoughts in my head sprang to life.
Questions with no real answer because in her mind I was a walking model.
But through my eyes,
I was but a mere speck of dust on a runway full of goddesses.
Flawless creatures with not an imperfection on their skin.
Imperfectionless beauty that seems to be almost too perfect.
Unbelievable.
Too much to bear as I stare in awe from my seat down under.
I avoid mirrors.
And pictures are never able to capture what I see.
The real beauty that only I can see.
But the beauty I see,
Isnt skin deep.
You gotta look past all that.
You gotta look inside to see me.
Because the outside me is full of dirt and unscrapeable grime.
Irritation and frustration.
Having to sit next to girls who are more than attractive, but the definition of beauty.
And then....
You look over at me and the confusion is evident on the expression of their face.
A gorgeous heart doesnt count today, because society is focused on the beauty we see in magazines.
The kind of photoshopped beauty that is the product of a computer and a hand.
The kind of society that would rather cover up her freckles than let them show.
The kind of girls that spend hours applying cake to their face in order to attract that cute guy she likes,
Because that cute guy she likes wouldnt look at her without it.
Because a cute guy wants nothing to do with a girl unless she is willing to get her knees dirty.  
So many girls try to change their appearance to please others.
But....
When did others opinions of us, come before our own?