Jagged rocks

Out of everything done to me
I will never forget the jagged rocks
Out of all the blades for a soul of spades
All the creative destruction I could muster
There is no way I will forget the jagged rocks
I used it all
Glass
Mirror shards
A pencil topper
A piece of sandpaper Dad had discarded
These are tools I long to forget
With marks I cannot omit
Mother caught me
And I cannot describe what I felt
Look what I had done to her son
Her reaction was worse than I could have imagined
She stroked me
My arms
My face
My hair
Saying she will always love me
Those loving fingers
Were worse than anything I could have done to myself
Those loving fingers
Felt like jagged rocks
Dragging across my skin
Out of love