Fully Functional.

I can write you a book about your eyes, but that’s cheesy, and just not me!  
I can stand on a fucking podium and conduct you a symphony!  
I'll do anything you want if you make a promise just for me.  
Tell me, swear it, that I’m the only person you want me to be.  
 
I left, and you let me.  
That's what hurts the most.  
I’m back now,  
Don’t reject me!  
My heart will explode.  
 
It convulsed and it wrenched when you said ‘Just go….’  
So I ran to the next room and let the tears flow.  
My best friends held me and I held some of it in.  
A year’s worth of emotion crept out like a sin.  
 
I lost 15 pounds when we ended, and hair discreetly fell out.  
Depression sucks, but I was in love.  
Does your mother still doubt?  
I remember that night, I held myself crying.  
I remember my eyes were raw, and I felt much like dying.  
 
Mother thought I was sick, she just didn’t know…  
That my heart was exploded and the pieces had flown.  
 
I smoked til I cried, and hoped it was a dream…  
Then I’d wake up and feel my heart cut it's own seams.  
See, I was convinced it was a nightmare, until I woke up.  
And after a few thousand times I tried not to give a fuck.  
 
I spent a few weeks away, went to the hospital once or twice,  
Found out how to rehab myself, learned to put down the knife.  
I discovered the hilarity that was upon myself inflicted,  
Drugs won’t make you come back,  
so I quit doing to what I was addicted.  
 
You can’t pretend you don’t love your best friend,  
Three times, by myself, I tried to make my life end.  
I heard you couldn’t care less, but if that was the case…  
You wouldn’t talk to me now; I’d sleep behind cemetery gates.  
 
There is a reason that I couldn’t let myself die,  
You still cared; I had a reason to be alive.  
Now you tell me secrets, we can maybe... reunite?  
I’ll wake up with you again, in the early morning light.  
   
So yes my heart is scattered, if that is what you’re asking.  
The remains have all been battered, tortured till they’ve gone insane.  
They may as well be prisoners to your soul, never freed.  
I don’t desire anyone else to hold the lock and key.