deepundergroundpoetry.com
Shadow Man
Then you left me with the salt bitter tears
Running down my face
Now I dwell in the hell of my worst fears
My grief has gathered pace
Felt so bad, felt so sad. It’s me not we
Smoked da skunk got bad stoned
You told me baby you wanna be free
Flesh flops like I’ve been boned
Just a shadow of the man that I once was
Hollow, shallow, spirit having flown
I asked you why you said “Just because..”
Now my sorry shadow drags me home
Running down my face
Now I dwell in the hell of my worst fears
My grief has gathered pace
Felt so bad, felt so sad. It’s me not we
Smoked da skunk got bad stoned
You told me baby you wanna be free
Flesh flops like I’ve been boned
Just a shadow of the man that I once was
Hollow, shallow, spirit having flown
I asked you why you said “Just because..”
Now my sorry shadow drags me home
Published 1st Mar 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
1st Mar 2016 11:08pm
I think it's better to let thoughts and feelings flow honestly, rather than make them conform to tired rhyme schemes. You will find, I think, over time, when you flow directly from thought, the words will gain their own natural cadence, rhythm and rhyme. Anyways, it's a nice poem. I like to smoke da funky skunk too sometimes. lol
1st Mar 2016 11:16pm
I know what you mean and sometimes I do write free verse but I regard myself as a rhymester rather than a poet. This is a departure for me I mostly write comedic stuff. Thanks for the comment mate great to have another's point of view..
