French Leave

Driving though Paris last summer on holiday we were pulled over by a motorcycle cop at 2 a.m. returning from a boozy meal with friends.

Cop: You're driving is very erratic Why

Me: No ish not hossifer I slurred

Cop: Mon Dieu you are very drunk!

Me: That I am hossifer, that I am

Cop: How much have you drunk sir?

Me: Two rottles of wed rine I told him plus half a rottle of bum.

Cop: Then I must arrest you monsieur for drunken driving

Me You can't I said I'm British

Cop: That is no excuse

Me: But I live in England I protested

Cop: Why do you think that excuses you of drunken driving?

Me: 'Cos being an Englishman, living in England I bought an English car

Cop: So what?

Me: Well if you stagger to the other side of the car you'll find  my wife, who doesn't drink,  is driving. Being an English car the steering wheel is on the other side yer baft dastard