deepundergroundpoetry.com
At least with heartache I know I'm not dreaming
It's like a shot in the heart
This nightmare
If hell could be in dreams
Then I am there
At least with heartache
I know I'm not dreaming
But this is an extreme
This couldn't be reality
My heart is already dead
This isn't possible
I won't let go
It's intolerable
Yet here I stand
At your casket's side
Unable to except that
my true love has died
I want to be awaken
with you next to me
With you alive
And let me hear you breathe
But I stay in this nightmare
With no escape
So I lay down next to you
in your grave for eternity
This nightmare
If hell could be in dreams
Then I am there
At least with heartache
I know I'm not dreaming
But this is an extreme
This couldn't be reality
My heart is already dead
This isn't possible
I won't let go
It's intolerable
Yet here I stand
At your casket's side
Unable to except that
my true love has died
I want to be awaken
with you next to me
With you alive
And let me hear you breathe
But I stay in this nightmare
With no escape
So I lay down next to you
in your grave for eternity
Published 29th Jun 2011
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29th Jun 2011 6:42pm
I know what that feels like all too much. It´s hard to write poems about love because it is a cliché in its self. I also have this problem when writing love poems. "A shot in the heart" comparing heart break to death, mentioning true love. These terms make the poem seem childish. I would suggest taking the feelings that you are expressing in the poem and try explain them in away that no one else has before.
I actually love this.
I think its great.
I personally don think that by saying
"A shot in the heart"
Makes it sound childish.
Amazing as always [;
I think its great.
I personally don think that by saying
"A shot in the heart"
Makes it sound childish.
Amazing as always [;
29th Jun 2011 8:19pm
29th Jun 2011 8:20pm
2nd Jul 2011 5:00am
Every poem is unique as is...childish or otherwise. To go back and re write until all the words sound exactly like you want them loses the meaning of the whole thing. I like the poem as it is and think with time ,experience and age you will grow into your feelings and be able to convey what you are feeling in a most meaningful way.
