Broken wings

Early in the morning. All alone with only the rain
I sit ponder my life so riddled with pain
A solo exsistence  filled with disdain
I'm a few weeks to forty years old
And my years have all been wasted
All forbidden fruits I've at least tasted
Discretion never my   Top  priority
 An angel  with tattered wings
And a broken halo no shoulders left
Just brittle crumbling bones
The weight of the world no longer my burden
Only my death seems the only truth that is certain
No more unconditional love and forgiveness
Turning the other cheek no longer my business
I can't mourn the loss of my soul
My destiny is not mine to control
The strings of  time bind me here in the bowels
Of my own pitiful physical hell
Trapped by  a prison  crafted in flesh
Cast down from my lofty pillars of clouds
Wanted to save the world from itself
Demons in angels garb tracked and bound me
With my own fire I'm burnt  out i wallow in the Myer
To ask for salvation  another hell im not humble enough to endure
A mind wasted by drugs a heart solid as ice no love will ever melt again
A solo exsistence a path self taught a body built for pleasure
But abstinence sustains its passions intimacy creates weakness
Which a solo life cannot afford so I march on this desolate trek
Broken angel cast away from heaven left all alone
The rain a constant reminder of my gods disappointment
I forever am washed clean by his tears  broken
Cast out for my choices he could never condone
My heart and mind just lay in waste to my broken home