Mistakes

This double dosage I'm on makes me feel nauseous inside
It makes me wanna curl up be alone and just hide
Hide from myself and the world for what I have done was a mistake
Thinking at the time I couldn't do it
Now all I feel is a thudded heart ache

Hating myself and envying others
Walking around, seeing children and their mothers
Thinking "That could have been me"- "That could have been us"
But no I just had to go and fuck that up, my mind I decided to trust
I didn't go with my heart
I didn't settle the score
And now I pay the price wanting to hide behind doors
Forcing a mask on everyday for him for them for everyone
Wanting one thing to cure the pain and that is just our little one
But no I went and fucked it up I made a fucking mistake
Of taking away something that could've cured this fucking heart ache
I'm mad I'm sad I'm upset and overall just done
If I could plead with god on one thing I'd ask "Please just bring back our number one"