Pills, booze, orgies oh my [part 3]

*10 hours later*

My head is throbbing. Mouth is dry.
Yeah I'm no longer high.
My eyes are still closed shut.
Someone's got there hand on my butt.
OMG please be brad pitt. Please be brad pitt.
I keep one eye closed and the other opens to a tiny slit.
It's day time. I hear birds chirping away.
I look down at my leg and another leg lay
Right on top of my own... But it's not hairy
Not manly... It's Smooth and

C
  U
R
 V
Y

No brad pitt. A woman. I must of been feeling quite nervy.
I groan inwardly. I try to remove  her limbs from mine
But when I move I feel her breast push up against my spine.
I try again. Pushing her off and rolling in the opposite direction.
Then I look at her for further inspection.
Her black hair covers most of her face.
She stirs and I hold my breath and sit in place
He mumbles then she moves her hair no longer blocking my view
And all I can think is

"This is what I slept with... Ew."

Shes got a thick eyebrows with eyes far too small.
Especially for a forehead so awfully tall.
Her mouth is open and I see a row of crooked teeth and slightly yellow.
This was my bedfellow.
Her body wasn't as bad.
But she wasn't a he. She wasn't brad.
I got to get out of hereis all I think
I definitely had too much to drink
I get off the bed looking for something to wear
When I spot a shirt laying on a chair
I grab it and find some pants on the floor
Shove my legs and I'm headed out the door

[but wait...there's more]

Some broad is standing there looking angry like a baboon.
She's got short hair gelled back like a Italian mob boss
Dark black eyeliner and ruby red lip gloss
She was beautiful in a scary dark manly but feminine way
I look around frozen in place what should I say??
She clears her throat, "Just who do you think you are?"
Did I have sex with her too? Oh I really went too far
"I'm sorry, I don't usually do this, you see I was drunk... And high. Really fucking high"
She balls her fists up and then I realize SHE is really a guy


[looks better than me I noticed with a sigh]


"So you don't fuck others girlfriends for a living?"
The look he... she... Gave me was definitely unforgiving
"I'm not even sure what happened here, but trust me she's all yours"
I'm not quite sure what was said under his..her breath but I think I heard whore.
I shuffle on my two feet ready to throw down if I have to
Ive never beat up a he/she but you gotta do what you gotta do.

STARS

I'm seeing stars. I wasn't ready.
I lost my balance still unsteady.
All it took was one punch to my  head
And I went night night he/she put me to bed
To my defense he/she charged me like a rabid bull
Shocked, I stood there like a fool
I woke up once again with a massive headache
Why can't I catch a break for fucks sake?
I lay there thinking I should really stop doing drugs
I imagine singing kumbaya
and exchanging hugs....


[yeah right]


I sit up wincing definitely gonna have a bruise
'I think Im gonna need another booze.'

[the end]