Fundamental Details

Compare actions to my own in the hope that something aligns
but nothing subsides

I’d take your sadness but I can’t take mine
do I deserve nothing less
can’t keep a pen knife- how can I ever get loose

want words that accept me
tiny hands that move to soothe not to break
these clumpy limbs make for getting tangled
the sky was breezy but these last few feet are teasing

I can’t console
parts of my body made to fire raggedy thoughts across unreal paths
tendency to slip between hating and disregarding
until breathing loops uncomfortably and I fester

flip between screens waiting for text that unites me
with calm
rather than empty blank timelessness that I fabricate into inconsistent ties

sedated
freshly reminded of my overpowering humanity
reality
that what I might subject myself to isn’t insanity
naturally
faltering as I try and seek clarity

no peace from feeling as though hands should be full
when I’m too afraid to fill my ears or eyes
as my head overflows with things that I wish weren’t sounds
until the ground is littered
and I can’t move around
inconspicuously I flounder
until I become one with what’s around.