cyanide salvations

You gotta earn your why in life
it's just the way it has to be.
sure you can lie, manipulate, sneak, and perpetrate,
but now your back at zero you canceled out,
hitting the floor your begging for more
the vanity that I see disgusts me internally
nothing in life is for free.
trust me,

I've been rich
spending 3000 a week
and been poor where I couldn't afford
even something un seen like emotional support.

so fuckin hungry I attack without reason
starring at people like its fucking hunting season
chopped up, screwed up, my doc says my minds fucked up

even my own mother is afraid of me
a bandits wife and she ain't no pussy
dropping your ass quicker than me
that bitch is crazy
and she watches her mouth when she talks to me.
the only one shes does it with I've truly seen,

if you knew and my life and the shit that I've seen
horrors beyond clive barkers wildest dreams
all the dirt and fucked up shit I've done
you would see why it the way I am.

most people grab their face in shock
then try and hold my hands and talk
apologizing and crying like there ones
who took my soul when I was young.

violently damaging,
abusing and torturing me!
I fucking hate  electricity!

STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!

A kid  once screamed and begged, but NO one ever listens to kids
just follow what your parents rules

so I did,
and I accepted my fate.
to be used a dangerous tool an instrument of hate
I learned how to take in every imaginable way
a technician of sorts of human weaknesses
your skin your body your soul all I can access
all is a canvas for my sadistic sinister mission
I'll spend a week in the darkness with you
do things I can never speak of to you
make you believe theres still freedom and hope for you
to gather my intel and complete my  mission
no loose ends the whispers of my demons whisper in my ear
your a fool for thinking there was any escape from this hell

I was no older than 7 when I lost sight of heaven
and by the time I was 8 I had seen women raped
by the end of that year and without feeling fear
I could grab that fucking electric fence
and not even one tear would fall from that child's face.
I don't feel physical pain like you do
stab me go ahead ill just blink at you, its happened before
il show you the scars if you want me to
I pulled it out with hell fire  in my eyes
and stuck it up thru fuckin punks jaw
locked jawed he's gone

my pops was killer, a true gangster for real.
not that street gang
gangbanging flag wearing
pussy ass shit
but a real organized crime syndicate
if you've ever watched gangland on the history channel
and you dig that stupid shit.
you probably seen my house raided by the feds
and the crew he fucked with
now you know bits and pieces of only two years of my life.
I'm now 27 and I've seen and done  way to much to quick
but maybe you will understand why i am so cold
and make people earn their own shit,