I think I'll go for a walk tonight

 
I was staring at a dagger this morning, admiring it's craftsmanship, the smooth edges and pointed tip, the curve of the handle, the way light caught on the edge of its blade.

As if it were speaking to me, cold delicate whispers that landed hot in my ear like a serpent's hiss. The voice of my inner desires. The voice of buried secrets, and hidden
truths.. That transformed to the ringing in my ears, echoes of screaming shadows imprisoned in my heart.

I thought about it gripped tightly within the coil of your free hand while you squeezed my throat from behind, after silently walking up on me and taking me off guard, the way it would feel piercing into the tender flesh beneath my ear..

And, about how warm your breath would be on the back of my neck when you growled in anticipation your threats to end me if I did not comply with your demands. The way you would control my heavy breathing, and the sound your heart would make beating inside your chest when you slammed me back down onto the ground..

How you would proceed to cut off my clothes, with no regard for cutting into my flesh, and how the sight of my blood would only excite you more. I imagined the look in your eyes.. The way they would widen with delight to my screams, and about how you would revel in my fear with hard tugs to my hair inbetween hard slaps against my face the way a cat toys with it's food before it inevitably kills it.

I thought about how you would smell of sweat, and the taste of your stale breath as you choked me with your tongue, raping my mouth while you defiled my body reducing me to the animal we all tend to become in the heat of the moment. Would you watch the light fade from my eyes when you entered me? I wondered if I would succumb to my shame of enjoyment, and beg you to show mercy by ending my suffering or if I would
Simply beg to suffer for you..

Because only those who suffer carry these type of burdens alone into the Woods... What am I looking for? A moment of serenity or a moment of chaos? I conjure these
Demons within in utter silence at times when I'm truly alone... I don't know who you
are or from which dark alley you await, but I was staring at a dagger this morning.

And I think I'll go for a walk tonight....