WAR

Are we still desired? Do our black lives really matter? You see war in another country, I see war right here, between man and woman. Because I was never taught how to express my feelings, I buried my 5 senses. I never saw my mother love a man unconditionally. Just fist fights, you ain't shit, and where's my money. I guess mothers mother never showed her how to be a woman, how to complete and complement. Mother never heard the laughter of pure joy coming from her mother's bedroom walls, only beligerence. Left with the taste of blood in her mouth, touch never compassionate. A few months go by then there's a new scent present. Mother couldn't teach because of her bad experiences. So it was a battle with no defenses.
26 yr old girl still maturing into a woman. Maybe if my father was around I wouldn't still be stumbling. Maybe a few more hugs a few more kisses, maybe the words 'I Love You' wouldn't feel so useless. Abandoned by  my first love, held it against my second. Throwing bombs at every emotion not knowing when to surrender.
Old enough to know better, young enough to be naive. I lay in my bed at night texting him like I'm yours come hold me. But he'll never believe that cuz he's been played before. Now all he see is a girl that'll spread her legs cuz he got money. To him I'm another statistic, a bad bitch, brows on fleek, knew nigga next week. But imma take some blame for that, cuz I was the one that told him boy I only want the D. Yeah I was flaugin. I see the war and sometimes it gets the best of me. Sometimes I feel like I gotta lie and degrade myself to get what I want or feel complete. I mistake the fact that my soul is yearning to be reconnected to a rib a was taken from. For a fantasty, amorous thoughts, and fast heartbeat. Conflict in our home, rage towards our backbone. Insecurities of the world, history stuck on repeat. Ending this fight requires education, communication, and stability.
There is a war going on, I call it World War 3, you, me, and humanity.