deepundergroundpoetry.com
Good night
good night, my candle.
good night, my whisper.
good night, my soul keeper.
sweet dreams to you ,
for your tender mercies
are upon your pillow,
and the desires of your heart
are released in the shades of the night.
good night, my lover.
good night, my rescuer.
good night, my queen.
Sultry midnight mind-walks to you
where we can dance among the
lilies of our passions,
and the orchids of our love
Don't fear drowning.
good night, my whisper.
good night, my soul keeper.
sweet dreams to you ,
for your tender mercies
are upon your pillow,
and the desires of your heart
are released in the shades of the night.
good night, my lover.
good night, my rescuer.
good night, my queen.
Sultry midnight mind-walks to you
where we can dance among the
lilies of our passions,
and the orchids of our love
Don't fear drowning.
Published 16th Dec 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 1522
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Dec 2015 00:11am
Ah Ed, this is lovely and gentle in its sensual mode, easing into the protective night, she with you.
As you have asked for honest critique, my suggestions are nothing overwhelming. All I would suggest is to par down the repetitive use of "good night". For instance (and this is merely a suggestion:
good night, my candle,
my whisper,
my soul keeper.
and the other part:
good night, my lover,
my rescuer,
my queen.
Thank you for listening.
As you have asked for honest critique, my suggestions are nothing overwhelming. All I would suggest is to par down the repetitive use of "good night". For instance (and this is merely a suggestion:
good night, my candle,
my whisper,
my soul keeper.
and the other part:
good night, my lover,
my rescuer,
my queen.
Thank you for listening.
18th Dec 2015 5:59am
Ed head...love this.
I enjoyed the répétition. Of good night..
Truely a beautiful thing to say to your gal..i wish you all the best. You are such a charming, elegant tongued man.
All my love
Jen
I enjoyed the répétition. Of good night..
Truely a beautiful thing to say to your gal..i wish you all the best. You are such a charming, elegant tongued man.
All my love
Jen
18th Dec 2015 6:36am
Hey Jen!
Thank you! dont let those compliments get around, you'll ruin my rep. LOL
hope you're having a good day!!!
Thank you! dont let those compliments get around, you'll ruin my rep. LOL
hope you're having a good day!!!
19th Jan 2016 2:20am
19th Jan 2016 2:34am
