deepundergroundpoetry.com
"I'm so tired"
I take long showers to let the sound from each drop of water cancel out the anxious thoughts I have, but the water doesn't stay warm forever.
I listen to music through my headphones to distract my mind from how it actually feels, but some people find that disrespectful.
I stay in bed a little longer so that I don't start worrying about the day yet, but some people call me lazy.
I keep a smile on my face so others don't worry how I feel, but even actors need breaks.
I keep my true emotions and feelings bottled up so I won't bother anyone, but I still cause trouble to people.
I think before I speak, but what I say still makes people upset.
What I want is different than how I feel.
I don't want to be mad, upset, mean, annoying, insecure, inadequate, distrustful, tearful, hurt, miserable, lonely, guilty, petrified; a bother.
So I don't show anything but my face every once in a while, even so, it all puts me in so much pain.
Because what I want isn't the same as how I feel.
I feel all of these emotions, and more, so much more that I feel selfish. Because how I truly feel, what I truly feel is that I want someone here with me, someone I can touch, someone I can hold tighter when my true emotions leak out the jar I put myself in.
I want someone that looks at me and isn't insensitive, enough to ask me how I feel and care and mean it.
Just enough to put even a portion of the effort that I attempt to do everyday and aim their way toward me......but that's selfish.
I listen to music through my headphones to distract my mind from how it actually feels, but some people find that disrespectful.
I stay in bed a little longer so that I don't start worrying about the day yet, but some people call me lazy.
I keep a smile on my face so others don't worry how I feel, but even actors need breaks.
I keep my true emotions and feelings bottled up so I won't bother anyone, but I still cause trouble to people.
I think before I speak, but what I say still makes people upset.
What I want is different than how I feel.
I don't want to be mad, upset, mean, annoying, insecure, inadequate, distrustful, tearful, hurt, miserable, lonely, guilty, petrified; a bother.
So I don't show anything but my face every once in a while, even so, it all puts me in so much pain.
Because what I want isn't the same as how I feel.
I feel all of these emotions, and more, so much more that I feel selfish. Because how I truly feel, what I truly feel is that I want someone here with me, someone I can touch, someone I can hold tighter when my true emotions leak out the jar I put myself in.
I want someone that looks at me and isn't insensitive, enough to ask me how I feel and care and mean it.
Just enough to put even a portion of the effort that I attempt to do everyday and aim their way toward me......but that's selfish.
Published 16th Dec 2015
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17th Dec 2015 4:21pm
I'm not sure if you are male or female, but who you wrote this made it seem as if you were a being, that didn't have a gender and I honestly love that, because with how you wrote this, either gender could easily relate with this piece. You're very talented and I loved it. I related to this poem more than most that I've read on here. Good job sir/ma'am. I can't wait to read more from you. :)
