My Poison

This plan has been in place for over a year
First I played crazy until the doctors were
Forced to higher the dosages over and over
I would sometimes take them to pretend to need them
But secretly I hid them, I hoarded them
Three days ago I took out my collection of pills
Blues, greens and yellows fell out onto my bed
I took an empty water bottle and put them into the bottle
I then added some Crown Royal
And shook it all up before I added Coca- Cola
The santa on the bottle laughing in my face
Again I shook the bottle violently
The pills have been in the concoction for three days now
The casings of the pills are bloated and fat now...
Maybe I will strain my poison if those pesky husks
Or maybe I'll add more whisky or heat it up
Once the poison is complete
I will finish the bottle of Crown Royal
But no good byes will be given
I will delete my phone of pictures, texts and apps
There will not be a pathetic good bye letter to be found
My room will be clean. My clothes washed and put away
There will be a document of who gets what though...
The things that had offered me so much comfort in life will be passed on
There will only be three requests I will make
Burn my body with my most valued possesions around me
Burn me wearing a full length black dress
And tell all of  them I tried to be happy...
I hope the poison works quickly...
That I will be too drunk to resist the darkness
This is has been my plan for over a year...
I have done nearly everything I have ever wanted to
There are two things that are left...
Lose my virginity and try to make everyone  hate me before I go...
It would be easier that way... right?

(Plan failed)