What has happened to me?

Living the life faster than ever I stop and stare




I look back to see I ran so fast




My footsteps are lost in the air




I stand still




Look from side to side




Nothing but confusion in my eye




I’m wondering where the well am I going




When I’m lost in this night not a shed of light




The destination out of sight this ain’t right




Stranded in a fight with the night




I’m losing my might




I’m like a windless kite I keep losing height




I think I’m heading for the end




Where there’s no help to send I’ve gone beyond mend




This deadly path won’t bend yes this is the end




I look back at all the mistakes




When I thought life was a piece of cake




I didn’t need to give it all it takes




Care about noone, I only cared about my own sake




Just being genuinely fake




Not knowing the path of lies I left in my wake




Being brought up I was told to care for others




That everyone were like your sisters and your brothers




That the most important person ever was your mother




But that’s all gone now…




I should’ve took it all down




So from time to time I could see what I wrote




Whenever I’m straying away I could just look at my notes




But I’ve lost my blessings, right now I’m like the titanic




Just a sinking boat




I’ve lost my ways I’ve entered a bad phase




When sex was just a rude word yes those were the days




When playtime remained in school but now it’s all just a haze




And through the dark window of the shining past I try to gaze




But I’m lost in this maze trying to remember how I was raised…




Dear god teach me to be good again




Make it as easy as counting to ten




Because I’m changed I wanna be one of the good men




Give me a second to grab paper and pen so you can teach me to be human




Because right now I’m gambling my soul




Where my heart was is now just a hole




Such wicked goals




I’m worshipping the wrong idols




I’ve lost all religion




I’m a slave to the devil yes this is his ambition




His vision of my annihilation




And the rest of creation




But it starts with my devastation




I long for happiness but it has its price




My soul is lost I’m gambling I’m rolling the dice




The devil doesn’t need to entice




Because I’ll never escape




Not even if I roll a six twice




These are my flaws




Influenced by lust and greed I keep asking for more




Immoral and dishonesty is what I live for




Like a peach no softness inside, only an iron core




What would my father say if  he saw




I’m not the son that he had known before




I am a stranger




Fighting in my own civil war