FOR THE LOVE OF ONE SO SMALL

EVERY UNSHED TEAR IS A PLEA FOR HELP
WHICH ARE NEVER SEEN OR EVEN HEARD
PLEASE RELEASE ME
FROM THE OVERWHELMING PAIN
BEATING DOWN ON ME
RELENTLESS, UNWELDING
ATTACKING THE REMAINING RUINS
WHICH USED TO BE ME
AN EMPTY CARCASS
NO LONGER IS THERE
A REASON TO GO ON
I GAVE IT ALL UP FOR THEM
THAT WE MIGHT BE AS ONE
NOW I'VE LOST BOTH
AND WORST OF ALL MYSELF
SHE SAYS HE'LL ALWAYS BE ME
BUT WITH NO SAY AND NO TIME
ALL I DO IS SEE HER
WHY CAN'T SHE SEE
WHY CAN'T SHE TRY
ALWAYS FOR OTHERS
NEVER FOR ME
IT'S A PROBLEM
IT CAN'T BE DONE
BUT ALL IS POSSIBLE FOR OTHERS
IN THE NAME OF FUN
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE
ALL YOUR ATTENTION
I GUESS I'M JUST NO ONE
YOU'D MAKE TIME FOR OTHERS
BUT WITH ME THERE'S NO TIME
EXCUSES HERE "OH LATER", THERE
"I'M TIRED"
"NOT IN THE MOOD"
"IT'S TO LATE"
WHY NOT FOR ONCE
"I NEED AND WANT YOU"
"SPEND TIME WITH ME"
I KNOW "CUZ YOU'RE YOU"
YOU'LL STAY UP FOR A WHILE
THEN SAY, "I'M TIRED"
WANTING TO GO TO BED
IGNORED AGAIN I CAN'T BELIEVE
I STAYED AROUND SO LONG
WHY AM I HERE FOR WHAT REASON
TO MAKE ME FEEL
EVEN LONELIER AND UNWANTED
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD
YOU'VE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE ME FEEL
WORTHLESS, LONELY, SCARED
FRUSTRATED AND DEPRESSED
THINGS NO OTHERS HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO
BUT IT WASN'T ALL FOR YOU
NOT AT ALL
I WILLING SACRIFICE
IT FOR THE ONE
THAT CAME OF US
I THINK OF LONG AGO
WHEN THERE WAS A HOME
AND I WISH I WAS THERE
TO COME HOME TO MY GORGEOUS LITTLE SON
I SMILE AND FEEL GOOD INSIDE
REMEMBERING HIS LITTLE FACE
LOOKING OUT THROUGH THE BLINDS
KNOWING HE WAS HAPPY TO SEE ME
AND HAVING ME HOME
IT'S FOR THAT CHILD THAT I WEEP
KNOWING THAT
THAT SIGHT WILL NEVER BE
OH GOD PLEASE HELP
I'M TRAPPED BY PAIN
TRYING SO HARD TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT
NOW I'M LEFT ALONE
ALL EMOTIONS ARE COLLAPSING AROUND ME
STOP THEM
STOP THEM
I CAN'T ANYMORE
SO FRUSTRATED
I KNOW HE'LL REMEMBER ME AS MEAN
AND NEVER THERE
BUT IF NICKY, YOU ONLY KNEW
HOW MUCH I GAVE UP AND HOW I TRIED
TO MAKE SURE YOU GREW UP RIGHT
AND LEARN THE THINGS YOU NEEDED TO
AND NOT JUST BE GIVEN INTO
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE THE PATIENTS OR TIME
THINGS I MADE YOU DO
MORE THAN OFTEN BY YOURSELF
NOT BECAUSE I WAS MEAN
OR TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF YOU
BUT BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS
BELIEVED IN YOU
AND THOUGH I'M NOT PREVALENT
NOW IN YOUR LIFE
I KNOW YOU'LL NOT
TURN OUT LIKE YOUR MOM
FOR SHE CLAIMED TO BE
THE "GIVER OF LIFE"
SO ALL MY KNOWLEDGE
AND FORESIGHT WAS WRONG
BUT HER GUESS'S
HASTY REACTIONS
AND MATERNAL FEELINGS
ARE TRUE AND ALWAYS RIGHT
SHE MOCKED MY SUGGESTIONS
REFUSED MY ADVICE
SAYING LOVE AND HIS MOTHER
WILL SEE HIM SAFELY
AND HAPPILY THROUGH LIFE
BUT THEN LATER WHEN
WHAT I HAD TOLD HER
AND WARNED HER ABOUT
CAME TO PASS
SHE WOULD ALWAYS CLAIM
"HOW WAS SHE TO KNOW "
AND THAT I WAS A FUCKING ASS
NO YOU WILL NOT BE LIKE HER
HYPOCRITICAL AND SO CLOSED MINDED
BLIND TO ALL THAT DO NOT
SUIT HER BELIEFS
I KNOW YOU WON'T
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY SON
I KNOW AND UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU GET SO MAD AND VIOLENT
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
YOU'RE ONLY A CHILD AMOUNG
"GIVE IT TO HIM"
"I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT"
TYPE OF ADULTS
IT MAKES ME MAD
FOR I HAVE SEEN AND KNOW
WHO AND HOW YOU REALLY ARE
PLEASE JUST TRUST
IN YOURSELF BELIEVE IN YOU
AND YOU'LL ALMOST ALWAYS WIN
EVERYTHING I WAS YOU ARE
I MADE SURE OF THAT
I HOPE IT WAS ENOUGH
NOW AND THEN I CAN SEE
SOME OF THOSE THINGS
AND I FEEL SO PROUD
NEVER FORGET ME
I TRIED SO HARD TO HAVE US ALL TOGETHER
IN ONE LOVING HOME
I MADE YOUR MOTHER
INTO THE ONLY ONE THAT I DESIRED
UNFORTUNATELY SHE DIDN'T
WANT TO LET HERSELF
FEEL THAT SAME WAY
YET ONE OF THE WORST FEELINGS
I'VE HAD IS BEING WITH SOMEONE
YET FEELING SO ALONE
I DID IT FOR SO LONG
FORGETTING HOW GOOD IT FEELS
WHEN OTHERS WANT TO GIVE
BASICALLY
I FORGOT HOW TO LIVE...

DAD