Pretending

I message you just to pretend you're alive.
I message you, but I don't get a reply.
I look at your pictures remembering our times together.
I look at them, but they don't make the pain any better.

It's hard to believe another life is lost.
I wish for you back no matter the cost.
I want to hear your voice and see your face.
There is no one that could take your place.

I think of you as if you're smiling down on me.
Doing that seems to be the only way it's easy.
If I thought any other way, I would break down.
I want to cry and scream so that it's the only sound.

I wish people would notice, but they don't care.
I cry in front of them, but refuse to ever share.
You're the only one that would care the most.
I wish you were here instead of a ghost.

I still don't understand why God took you from me.
I still don't understand why God just couldn't see.
Him of all people should know that I need you.
I guess he thought my need wasn't that true.

I hope he keeps you safe until I come.
I can't seem to wait until my time's done.
For now, just know I miss you everyday.
God, watch over them all, I always pray.