Dwindle

At the bottom of a bottle  
Severing statements  
The lost, haven't been here  
They've a call they'd share  
But its a monetary one  
Just moaning selfish ash-men-  
They're worshiping pot leafs and needles  
I ignore belittling of what was strength  
I've a call too, I'd use it but no one answers  
No one's gonna cry this morn  
At rock-bottoms playground  
I'm passing along  
 
Grey sounds of blue days  
They're knocking  
Full up and lost  
Like my laugh-stains  
Nay to ambitions, sit still  
Nay to stillness, I wont stay  
You'd say: "I thought you'd be here by now"  
But I underwhelm as a hobby on weekdays  
I could be seventy, picking my grey beard  
For all my desert hours, dry; like irritated skin  
 
 
Raindrops rusting stagnant tin  
I can see it get duller, change little  
I as a hovering fly, and a car comes-  
Unsuspected, I am a stain on your window  
I see eight nameless faces rambling  
The bottom left one wont speak  
He's my shade of yellow  
But wearing black face and crying  
Some soldier I'd make, cowering  
Some human I've made, devouring-  
Much more than my share was given  
Now he's starving and I'm complaining  
 
 
You said don't jump  
You'll be lonely in hell  
I didn't jump, I fell  
I'm still here and ugly  
Bouncing these static beams  
Walking as cold as can be  
My shotgun tames me  
Death's got that glared eye  
Like silver diamonds on a slope  
Begging a dreamers soul faking-  
A better life as its grown colder  
 
 
 
 
Oh, I've tried  
I want to die  
I want to live  
I want you to hear  
I want anything I can  
I'm so alone  
I'm growing cold as snow  
I may not be here tomorrow  
But that's okay  
I told you, you tell me  
I now blissfully I go  
A marksman of loathing  
So long petrified night!