Happy

What is it to be happy?  
if you can forgive the question  
I know everyone asks it  
and you're ready for the next one  
but my simple mind is stuck at this  
if such a happy state exists    
why does it elude me?  
why can't I find it  
   
I don't think it's money  
but I suppose I wouldn't know  
my pockets are always empty  
but I get where I need to go  
I've never been a saver  
or much of a savior  
I'm just a high strung gypsy  
looking for a rolling stone    
   
and if one these days  
I really start to love myself  
maybe then I'll change  
be ready for someone else  
today, I'm too selfish  
to ever be content  
I try to be less selfish  
but I get in the way of it  
   
Now if I could grow a backbone  
start to exercise my pride  
instead of just following feeling  
and keeping my heart blind  
I wouldn't end up in his bed  
quite as often as I do  
maybe I'd stop running back  
to what I know won't follow through  
   
I don't pass around the blame  
I know it sits on my head  
I could have gone and found a path  
but stuck to wandering instead  
as I've gotten older  
my wandering's begun wondering  
if there will ever be a place  
for my heart to settle down  
   
What is it to be happy?  
if you can forgive the question  
I know everyone asks it  
and you're ready for the next one  
but my simple mind is stuck at this 
some people don't find happiness    
you know it happens sometimes  
I hope it doesn't happen in mine  
 
I sure hope it doesn't happen in mine