Paying for my love...

Everything you do is intriguing,
Even when your hands are wrapped around my neck,
When you don’t come home at night,
Disappearing as if I was hallucinating,
You claimed you would stay forever,
I guess forever just isn’t that long anymore,
I sit quietly hurting, grieving,
Silently crying and praying,
That maybe you would walk through the door,
Hold your baby boy close,
Give him a kiss like you said you would,
Before everything came crashing down,
I still pick up all the bottles you left on the floor,
Washing your clothes hurts me to the core,
I can smell her lingering perfume,
Her cheap lipstick stains,
You don’t even try to hide it,
I’m tired of the pains, the games, the lies,
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes,
Walk closer to the edge my heart pumping,
Then I stop when I see those eyes,
I hear the same cries of my little angel,
I step away from the ledge silently cursing,
Why am I paying for loving you?