deepundergroundpoetry.com
where do lives lead
A mind consumed by money is like a wild beast on a tether
But once you allow love in you're heart you will have wealth forever
What good is a fast car on roads that remain congested
And what becomes of a bird that's never nested
Where do our lives lead to how do we make good between
Whom do we plead to and with shut eyes what can be seen
But once you allow love in you're heart you will have wealth forever
What good is a fast car on roads that remain congested
And what becomes of a bird that's never nested
Where do our lives lead to how do we make good between
Whom do we plead to and with shut eyes what can be seen
Published 29th Oct 2015
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The author encourages honest critique.
29th Oct 2015 8:35pm
Nice i like where you went with this piece,,
I think you will find more can be said when not in rhyme sceme...
Zazzles x
I think you will find more can be said when not in rhyme sceme...
Zazzles x
29th Oct 2015 9:15pm
30th Oct 2015 5:01pm
I just meant that I noticed that you have merit in your writing you could space out your rhymes so it's like lines 1an 3 and lines 2 an 4
that way you have more structured Poems but whatever works for you hun👍 I'm just trying to be helpful.
Zazzles
that way you have more structured Poems but whatever works for you hun👍 I'm just trying to be helpful.
Zazzles
30th Oct 2015 5:37pm
Aw jackie thank u that's really helpful and I appreciate it I gunna have to think abit more when I'm penning
