deepundergroundpoetry.com
Moving on
I push through the dark valley. The moon can't shine through the trees. I hear every scream. See every drop of blood. I feel every tear, and it blinds me so. I push, a shadow in the dark valley. I can feel their stares. Hear their fears. Oh how loud they scream when i fly by. But i push through the pain. Every scar, every bruise, every torn muscle and broken bone. I'm just running home. But a african man running will always be scary?
Published 18th Oct 2015
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18th Oct 2015 7:24am
There were elements to this that I liked - even loved ... But you lost me on the transition though; you went from the allusion of a bird in flight to a man running ... It was abrupt.
In your second line "i blinds" should be - it blinds
... I'm feeling this nonetheless.
Salud
In your second line "i blinds" should be - it blinds
... I'm feeling this nonetheless.
Salud
