Last Cut

There's an illness inside
it's killing me
a madness
in which no one else can see
i'm hearing voices
constantly
they never ever
go away
they haunt me
every single day
telling me that i'm a freak
telling me i'm just a slut
telling me that i'm too weak 
telling me i need to cut
why must my life
be such a threat
this cut tonight,
my deepest yet

i'm tired of running
from my past
i take pills to forget
but they never last
i always feel so high
yet i'm so low
no matter how hard i try
i can never let go
i stay alone
so i can hide
but it all keeps building
up inside
making me crazy
driving me mad
i'm losing everything
i ever had
i've lost myself
this isnt me
this cut tonight
will set me free

i can't see
anything but red
and the voices still linger inside my head
telling me i dont deserve you
saying i ruined your life
telling me to do this for you
pushing me towards the knife
i wish i'd made you happy
my love for you
was always true
instead i made you hate me
this cut tonight
is just for you

i have no heart
just a gaping hole
empty eyes and an empty soul
my body's tainted
to the core
my hopes are dreams
and nothing more
they'll never become true
they'll never be real
pain is all
i'll ever feel
i know it won't be long
i'm holding on
but falling fast
this cut tonight
will be my last

note: this is an OLD poem and i do not cause myself harm anymore, so dont comment on that please