Under My Sons’ Bed

 There are six dirty socks under your bed
They’re never in pairs, only singlets
A half eaten sandwich of cheese on brown bed
Clumps of cut hair and discarded ringlets

Cracker crumbs and now chewy corn flakes
A fudge brownie still in its wrapper
Evidence of numerous chocolate cakes
Beneath your bed smells like inside the crapper

There are three jigsaws with bits missing
A chess board that’s been torn in half
A sticky, stained photo of two girls kissing
A three legged, soft toy giraffe

An old pair of sneekers that have seen better days
A pair of boxers stiff like cardboard
A spray can of deodorant that no longer sprays
A close shaving Samurai sword

A half eaten pizza, still in its box
A video called ‘Hot, Hard and Muffled’
A blonde, curly wig labelled ‘Goldilocks’
A new pack of cards still un-shuffled

Here’s a duster, a bin bag and a brand new broom
A mop and a bucket, cleaning's now a code red
From now on clean up your own fuckin room
Especially under your bed