deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Stupid Fucking Puppet
how did a thirty-one year old housewife and mother
go from something so mundane and normal to a fucking monster,
from folding laundry and pushing a broom,
to running for her life and wishing to die?
that's easy....I made "friends"
someone i knew, loved and trusted
loved her drugs more then me,
she let her boyfriend threaten and threaten and guilt me into situations
where we both feared that today would be our last day,
to using and selling
to protect another that I love,
because you knew that when I loved I loved true,
I just never should've loved you,
you knew when I loved I gave my all
who would've knew that would be my downfall
a new situation everyday
"remember you can't say a word, or he'll go to jail and you really will be all alone, who'll watch over and
protect your kids then?"
knowing and waiting,
be it a cop at the door,
another gun to my head
either way I knew soon I'd be dead,
for four months I let you control me
just a stupid, scared puppet on a string,
waiting for someone to cut my line,
you can only fuck with so many gangs before it's your time
but
"hush, don't tell"
I know I'm going to hell...
one night you did it,
you pushed me too far
another night of running, hiding, crying, pleading,deceiving, bleeding
I sliced my marionette string
and crumbled to the ground
in a massive, long, overdue breakdown,
I told you my story
I told you it all...
the threats rolled in
in every possible way text,call,email,facebook
I knew that one day, one of us would pay
snitches get stitches
yes I KNOW
but what could I do
I want to be here to watch my grow
...I don't know why you were worried
the cops didn't care,
they turned a blind eye
and went back to their ways of being corrupt in a small town,
there's nothing right here, nothing just
so everyday I hide in fear
wishing that someone would hear,
the screams and tears that no longer come
I'm giving up,
I'm fucking done.
(obviously i haven't given up yet, but i do keep waiting for something to happen and knowing that no one will know the truth)
go from something so mundane and normal to a fucking monster,
from folding laundry and pushing a broom,
to running for her life and wishing to die?
that's easy....I made "friends"
someone i knew, loved and trusted
loved her drugs more then me,
she let her boyfriend threaten and threaten and guilt me into situations
where we both feared that today would be our last day,
to using and selling
to protect another that I love,
because you knew that when I loved I loved true,
I just never should've loved you,
you knew when I loved I gave my all
who would've knew that would be my downfall
a new situation everyday
"remember you can't say a word, or he'll go to jail and you really will be all alone, who'll watch over and
protect your kids then?"
knowing and waiting,
be it a cop at the door,
another gun to my head
either way I knew soon I'd be dead,
for four months I let you control me
just a stupid, scared puppet on a string,
waiting for someone to cut my line,
you can only fuck with so many gangs before it's your time
but
"hush, don't tell"
I know I'm going to hell...
one night you did it,
you pushed me too far
another night of running, hiding, crying, pleading,deceiving, bleeding
I sliced my marionette string
and crumbled to the ground
in a massive, long, overdue breakdown,
I told you my story
I told you it all...
the threats rolled in
in every possible way text,call,email,facebook
I knew that one day, one of us would pay
snitches get stitches
yes I KNOW
but what could I do
I want to be here to watch my grow
...I don't know why you were worried
the cops didn't care,
they turned a blind eye
and went back to their ways of being corrupt in a small town,
there's nothing right here, nothing just
so everyday I hide in fear
wishing that someone would hear,
the screams and tears that no longer come
I'm giving up,
I'm fucking done.
(obviously i haven't given up yet, but i do keep waiting for something to happen and knowing that no one will know the truth)
Published 26th Sep 2015
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26th Sep 2015 3:59am
I know about being around gangs I was raised around gangs all my life where I am from originally
26th Sep 2015 4:04am
I sort of know a little of your situation, what happened was not "normal" as far as even that lifestyle goes, you did what you felt you had to do, you could have put so much more into this but you held back, one day, maybe not here you'll have to tell someone, know that i will be there when you are ready.
26th Sep 2015 4:07am
i know, and you do know most of it, i started writing it all down, but i can't end it yet, because it's still going on and i don't know how it will really end, but thanks for listening.
