Beautiful Jerk

Let me put my heart in a dark cold place to freeze.
With a few bumps and scrapes in foiled armor stichings and string.  
No, I haven't died.
I'm doing fine, thanks.
So don't be alarmed on account of me.
Don't get bent, take it with ease.  
Because often times I'm here praying silently.
Loaded for bear, fully armed.
While blood runs from my wooden knuckles to my buckled leather knees.
Facing storms.
Who'd love nothing better than doing me harm.  
So I sultry strap myself on my doomsday bomb of peace.
Because I'm prolific as a novel crime.
Inserting those quarters faster than a human could be.  
Delaying final detonation yet another time.
I hear the ticking time bomb stop.
And the fears have all been silenced and gone.
While crying myself to sleep.
My dreams overflow an empty pot.
Thinking of a beauty queen.
The frictions extremely volatile and hot.
Twisted and tweaked, it's all mental masturbation.
Wearing out my elbows on the spot.
And weakening my soul.
Cuz a broken heart has its own fate.
You me, and the little fluffy white sheep.
We know.
It's only one hop to dying.
And two steps from truly being free.
Over the fence we're filling.
Even with the potholes in the road getting deeper and rough.
From all the heavy loads.
I just can't fill them all fast enough.
With three steps left to mend the fence of love.
This blind man's bluff is one tough boat.
I don't think it's possible to sink.
But I will never survive the storm of that sea.
If I wait.
So I'm just trying to escape.  
Reading these last pages of eternity.
And rewriting the script.
But it has its own designer label of misery.
Called Bent on Hell.
With a huge heart on for me.
It hurts.
Soon it will have me explode into spurts.
Of rainbows made of colored stones.
Never four leaf clovers or a leprechauns pot of gold.
So stick a fork in me and turn me over, I'm done.
I'm ready for the dirt nap.
Fill the hole and forget where it's at.
Move along and don't dare come back.
It's as simple as that.
Just another beautiful jerk.