Same Old Discussion

Why did you start this again
The same tired discussion
The one that makes me cry
That hardens my heart even more
Why can't we just spend time together...
Turning to you in joy
Only to see those puppy dog eyes
I want so badly to be what you need
I want desperately for you to be what I need
Yet we drift further and further apart
I don't know how to fix you
Broken pieces still scattered in your mind
Or you clutch them to you like a security blanket
It seems that when I'm happy
You need to bring me down
Taking one day at a time
I'm slowly healing once again
Finding elation in small things
Why must you keep slapping me to the ground
It feels like a rug pulled from beneath my feet
I'll be stable, grounded
You'll pull your guilt card
I'll find myself writhing in self loathing
Do you understand how exhausting it is
To bounce from high to low and back?
Why can't you just take it as it comes
Explore your new relationships
As I explore mine
We're in this together
I feel like a better person with them
They lift me up and keep me there
He inspires passion
Gives me unconditional love
Doesn't make me feel like dirt
When I make a mistake
Wants me for everything I am
Not just a part of me
She makes me confused
I've never had feelings for a woman
Not like this
I'm scared but excited
She makes me feel beautiful
Wants to take care of my needs
I want to be physical with him
You are my biggest stumbling block
How can I do with him
What I want so deeply
When I see the pain and despondent
Expression on your face
I'm doing something wrong
Is the message you send with your eyes
I just don't know what to do anymore
We've reached an impasse
I'm lost just when I've been found
That dying feeling hasn't gone away
I'm just drained more slowly
Because they feed me
I'm trying to reach you
To give what you need
Yet...
I'm starting to despise the way you kiss me
Shudder at your touch
I know what I'm going to feel
I'm so tired of feeling this low...