You.

I hate this feeling.
I really hate this feeling of  nothingness.
I wish there was something there, but there isn't.
He took my feelings and smashed them.
He smashed them until they were too small to reassemble.
God, I hate him, but I don't.
I hate what he does to me.
I hate how he makes me feel.
I hate this "control" for say, that he has over me,
But I might be over thinking it, and I don't know.
It's something that makes me take him back every time.
It's something that kills me inside when I see him with another girl.
It's something that makes me feel like I'm doing everything,
And he just doesn't care because his interests are in other places.  
It's something there, and it hurts.
It really hurts and hits deep in my bones
And stabs the little bit of heart that I had managed to save over the years.
I never knew it could hurt so much.
I knew he was bad for me in the beginning of everything,
But I didn't listen, and here I am, empty.
He took everything from me, and he left.
But I can't help but think it's my fault because I tried and fell into this mess.
Everyone told me no, I told me no, and I did anyway.
I thought I could be the one.
I thought I could make him happy.
I gave him all of my happy, and he took it without a word,
And slowly sucked away my soul that used to be there and left.
He promised me he wouldn't leave, and I was content with that.
He lied.
He lied so much and all I asked of him was the truth.
I asked him the truth , and all I got was lies.
That is the worst part.
I wanted closure, and he lied to me.