deepundergroundpoetry.com
You Were Almost a King
What was I thinking... I loved you so much
How would you understand me?
I told you my weakness, I told you my fear, I told you what would destroy me
How could you understand such a pathetic, insignificant, petty little thing... “it was everything to me”
I trusted you with my darkest, deepest, most hidden.... desire and fear
How foolish was I to think you could hear... me
honestly... honesty... honest... honest... honest please
Are you listening... can you hear me... can you just imagine for a second... what I am saying
I feel like the fallen snow, gently protecting everything around me, always taking care of everything...
and everything is covered by me, I sustain everything's beauty, I make everything feel loved an surety
I rejuvenate, I reinforce I repair everything's health, their strength, purpose and... I fight, I fight, I fight
I am used for everyone's needs, and I am trampled on: I am ravished and left in puddles of used waste
I am forgotten about at the end of the day, after being used up, until I have nothing left, and everyone is all better, and they are feeling okay... I realize the time is here for me to drift off into nothing... I always go gracefully, I excepted my destiny, this path chosen for me... alone ~ Then you had shown up
Like a whirl-wind I was left breathless in your rapture... You captured me, I had only heard about storms like you, and the things you do ~ Your ability to confine me, redesign me, completely blind me
I did not consider the reality's... I was so scared, I seen your power over me, but I did not care, I gave you more of me, and more because it is my nature
you picked me up and spun me around; You would lift me so high, and you never let me fall to the ground ~ you could make me forget all my pinned up pain ~ You had this mystical way of making all things release in me, my wetness never intimidated you, in your presence I did not feel so cold and compacted... you let me rain, with just your voice... the waters inside me, safely compounded and hidden... poured from me
I don't know how it happened, you became my world... you were my everything, you had the power
You could make me or break me...Tears, weakness, fear, supplication, indignation, the total and undefined force that lay inside me... Uncut, untouched, and uncensored ...I gave it to you as a gift ~ My fears never just vanished into thin air, my emotions never stopped feeling... believe it or not, I really do care ~ 38 years of service, and abuse ~ The nature of my lonely truth ~ the tainted dirty parts of me ~ they just take what they need to use ~ when they are full , complete, and satisfied ~ then they throw it back at me, because it is mine to carry, I bare it... I hold this... I been conditioned... I was trained... it's my prison... this is my purpose for existing ~ it is my nature, it is who I am...I understand
I am made for gently protecting everything, my purpose is taking care of everyone and everything...
Everything is covered by me, I sustain everything's beauty, I make everything feel loved and a sense of surety, I rejuvenate, I reinforce, I repair everything's health, their strength, purpose and I am alone, to Fight, I fight, I fight ~ I am made to serve, protect and nurture: My purpose is to nurture and protect
Snow is never held safe and protected or cared for, beauty is not the first thing anyone thinks of … “IF” they find that maybe, they have a little time to think of me
I told you my fear, and my pain ~ I exposed, my scars to you ~ you asked me to alter them ~ I was going to ~ you said these large breast on me, are to big...I heard that before (?) ~ you asked me to change them ~ I was going to for you
You told me about all those beautiful woman, you could choose from... I heard that before (?) ~ I secretly would wish, I was one of them ~ I would do anything for you... anything you would ask me to
You said I was to heavy ~ you said maybe all your dick would not fit into me ~ You said you needed to carry me, but I needed to be 80 ~ I wouldn't eat, I pushed away everyone, you said more, more, more
I cried for you to love me, I begged you to desire me ~ I would have done anything...anything for you
Time went by... then on the 146th day I heard you say... I was beautiful
My heart was already drenched in pain ~ I told you it is not easy, to change 38 years of conditioning
I cant forget the things you said ~ the first words said, and impression is never forgotten... it was the truth because I heard it before (?)
What was I thinking... I loved you so much
How would you understand me?
I told you my weakness, I told you my fear, I told you what would destroy me
How could you understand such a pathetic, insignificant, petty little thing... “it was everything to me”
I trusted you with my darkest, deepest, most hidden.... desire and fear
How foolish was I to think you could hear... me
honestly... honesty... honest... honest... honest please
Are you listening... can you hear me... can you just imagine for a second... what I am saying
You care so much about what other woman feel, You sent her videos you want to save their soul... You said these woman you don't know, but they know you? You said you loved me...BUT....BUT...BUT
You only talk to me late at night... later you decided you wanted me to be your wife...Your family hates me, you said you needed me...I am still a secret, you hide me...later I think you started feeling something...then your mother took a chance and decided to meet me...later some of your family accepted me...then you said don't change my body, you said you loved me... later I became beautiful to you...later I was your desire
I never forgot your original demands, I never forgot what all the other people said...The truth always had a front seat inside my head
Snow is never held safe and protected or cared for, beauty is not the first thing anyone thinks of … “IF” they find that maybe, they have a little time to think of me
You were telling me what to say to save her
I hung onto your every word
YOU SAID TO TELL HER, SHE... YOU SAID TO ME ~ WITH MY FRAGILE HEART IN YOUR
HANDS ~ YOU WANTED ME TO LOOK THIS THIN WOMAN, WITH NO BREAST, NO ASS
AND NO HIPS, this woman that chooses a man to fuck over the nurturing and protection of her children ...IN THE EYES ~ THIS IS A WOMAN THAT HAS THE BODY YOU REALLY...TRULY
DESIRE... I AM HOLDING BACK PAIN AND JEALOUS FIRE ...AND YOU TOLD ME
TO TELL HER ...ANOTHER WOMAN ~ SHE IS BEAUTIFUL
A flood of memories and reality washed over and struck straight through me it took 146 days for you to finally say those Mother Fucking, GOD Forsaking, Overly Used, Easy To Give, and all men like to use words... to me
AND now... you can say it so fast...so easy, for another woman's comfort and pain
relieving soul saving remedy????????????????????????????????????
I am sorry... but if you cannot see... the irony in how you easily, did the same fucking thing to me. That everyone else has always done to me. You deserve your own woman that chooses a man to fuck over the nurturing and protection of her children. You need to stay were you are, work all your life taking orders from other men. Just to give everything you slave for to her because her money belongs to her if she feels like working. She will continue to demand more and behind your back when your gone to work, your skinny stick wife who will never keep you warm and comfort your aching body when your hurting and fails to fill your child's hungry belly because her breast give nothing but pride and vanity is walking out the door parading around. I think then you can understand what a woman like me was willing to give and why... I would be hurting
I asked you please...please...please...keep me ~ All things for you, I would have done anything ~ for you I killed myself, I worked so hard...and I did all things, for you
Lori Laredo
9/4/2015
How would you understand me?
I told you my weakness, I told you my fear, I told you what would destroy me
How could you understand such a pathetic, insignificant, petty little thing... “it was everything to me”
I trusted you with my darkest, deepest, most hidden.... desire and fear
How foolish was I to think you could hear... me
honestly... honesty... honest... honest... honest please
Are you listening... can you hear me... can you just imagine for a second... what I am saying
I feel like the fallen snow, gently protecting everything around me, always taking care of everything...
and everything is covered by me, I sustain everything's beauty, I make everything feel loved an surety
I rejuvenate, I reinforce I repair everything's health, their strength, purpose and... I fight, I fight, I fight
I am used for everyone's needs, and I am trampled on: I am ravished and left in puddles of used waste
I am forgotten about at the end of the day, after being used up, until I have nothing left, and everyone is all better, and they are feeling okay... I realize the time is here for me to drift off into nothing... I always go gracefully, I excepted my destiny, this path chosen for me... alone ~ Then you had shown up
Like a whirl-wind I was left breathless in your rapture... You captured me, I had only heard about storms like you, and the things you do ~ Your ability to confine me, redesign me, completely blind me
I did not consider the reality's... I was so scared, I seen your power over me, but I did not care, I gave you more of me, and more because it is my nature
you picked me up and spun me around; You would lift me so high, and you never let me fall to the ground ~ you could make me forget all my pinned up pain ~ You had this mystical way of making all things release in me, my wetness never intimidated you, in your presence I did not feel so cold and compacted... you let me rain, with just your voice... the waters inside me, safely compounded and hidden... poured from me
I don't know how it happened, you became my world... you were my everything, you had the power
You could make me or break me...Tears, weakness, fear, supplication, indignation, the total and undefined force that lay inside me... Uncut, untouched, and uncensored ...I gave it to you as a gift ~ My fears never just vanished into thin air, my emotions never stopped feeling... believe it or not, I really do care ~ 38 years of service, and abuse ~ The nature of my lonely truth ~ the tainted dirty parts of me ~ they just take what they need to use ~ when they are full , complete, and satisfied ~ then they throw it back at me, because it is mine to carry, I bare it... I hold this... I been conditioned... I was trained... it's my prison... this is my purpose for existing ~ it is my nature, it is who I am...I understand
I am made for gently protecting everything, my purpose is taking care of everyone and everything...
Everything is covered by me, I sustain everything's beauty, I make everything feel loved and a sense of surety, I rejuvenate, I reinforce, I repair everything's health, their strength, purpose and I am alone, to Fight, I fight, I fight ~ I am made to serve, protect and nurture: My purpose is to nurture and protect
Snow is never held safe and protected or cared for, beauty is not the first thing anyone thinks of … “IF” they find that maybe, they have a little time to think of me
I told you my fear, and my pain ~ I exposed, my scars to you ~ you asked me to alter them ~ I was going to ~ you said these large breast on me, are to big...I heard that before (?) ~ you asked me to change them ~ I was going to for you
You told me about all those beautiful woman, you could choose from... I heard that before (?) ~ I secretly would wish, I was one of them ~ I would do anything for you... anything you would ask me to
You said I was to heavy ~ you said maybe all your dick would not fit into me ~ You said you needed to carry me, but I needed to be 80 ~ I wouldn't eat, I pushed away everyone, you said more, more, more
I cried for you to love me, I begged you to desire me ~ I would have done anything...anything for you
Time went by... then on the 146th day I heard you say... I was beautiful
My heart was already drenched in pain ~ I told you it is not easy, to change 38 years of conditioning
I cant forget the things you said ~ the first words said, and impression is never forgotten... it was the truth because I heard it before (?)
What was I thinking... I loved you so much
How would you understand me?
I told you my weakness, I told you my fear, I told you what would destroy me
How could you understand such a pathetic, insignificant, petty little thing... “it was everything to me”
I trusted you with my darkest, deepest, most hidden.... desire and fear
How foolish was I to think you could hear... me
honestly... honesty... honest... honest... honest please
Are you listening... can you hear me... can you just imagine for a second... what I am saying
You care so much about what other woman feel, You sent her videos you want to save their soul... You said these woman you don't know, but they know you? You said you loved me...BUT....BUT...BUT
You only talk to me late at night... later you decided you wanted me to be your wife...Your family hates me, you said you needed me...I am still a secret, you hide me...later I think you started feeling something...then your mother took a chance and decided to meet me...later some of your family accepted me...then you said don't change my body, you said you loved me... later I became beautiful to you...later I was your desire
I never forgot your original demands, I never forgot what all the other people said...The truth always had a front seat inside my head
Snow is never held safe and protected or cared for, beauty is not the first thing anyone thinks of … “IF” they find that maybe, they have a little time to think of me
You were telling me what to say to save her
I hung onto your every word
YOU SAID TO TELL HER, SHE... YOU SAID TO ME ~ WITH MY FRAGILE HEART IN YOUR
HANDS ~ YOU WANTED ME TO LOOK THIS THIN WOMAN, WITH NO BREAST, NO ASS
AND NO HIPS, this woman that chooses a man to fuck over the nurturing and protection of her children ...IN THE EYES ~ THIS IS A WOMAN THAT HAS THE BODY YOU REALLY...TRULY
DESIRE... I AM HOLDING BACK PAIN AND JEALOUS FIRE ...AND YOU TOLD ME
TO TELL HER ...ANOTHER WOMAN ~ SHE IS BEAUTIFUL
A flood of memories and reality washed over and struck straight through me it took 146 days for you to finally say those Mother Fucking, GOD Forsaking, Overly Used, Easy To Give, and all men like to use words... to me
AND now... you can say it so fast...so easy, for another woman's comfort and pain
relieving soul saving remedy????????????????????????????????????
I am sorry... but if you cannot see... the irony in how you easily, did the same fucking thing to me. That everyone else has always done to me. You deserve your own woman that chooses a man to fuck over the nurturing and protection of her children. You need to stay were you are, work all your life taking orders from other men. Just to give everything you slave for to her because her money belongs to her if she feels like working. She will continue to demand more and behind your back when your gone to work, your skinny stick wife who will never keep you warm and comfort your aching body when your hurting and fails to fill your child's hungry belly because her breast give nothing but pride and vanity is walking out the door parading around. I think then you can understand what a woman like me was willing to give and why... I would be hurting
I asked you please...please...please...keep me ~ All things for you, I would have done anything ~ for you I killed myself, I worked so hard...and I did all things, for you
Lori Laredo
9/4/2015
Published 5th Sep 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Sep 2015 9:56pm
Ahhh, seascape, luv ~ :-*
Lori, your writing is anguish-driven resplendence. Though your words and emotions come from immense pain, deep treacherous wounds, there is yet a thread running deeper within of your gleaming resilience and pure strength.
The purity of your essence shines through this piece, luv.
I have the utmost respect and care for you.
Remember this: snow wins in the end for tis water and we all return to the source... :-*
Lori, your writing is anguish-driven resplendence. Though your words and emotions come from immense pain, deep treacherous wounds, there is yet a thread running deeper within of your gleaming resilience and pure strength.
The purity of your essence shines through this piece, luv.
I have the utmost respect and care for you.
Remember this: snow wins in the end for tis water and we all return to the source... :-*
5th Sep 2015 10:08pm
Beautiful Savaja ♥
How have you been my wonderfully kissable friend? I had missed your allure and charisma, I have a years worth of reading to do. Thank you for your support, I hold your words of wisdom dear and near my heart.
How have you been my wonderfully kissable friend? I had missed your allure and charisma, I have a years worth of reading to do. Thank you for your support, I hold your words of wisdom dear and near my heart.
6th Sep 2015 4:21am
Seascape, you gorgeous wild woman, luv ~ :-*
I have been struggling through it. ;-p Not quite a year of reading, luv. I only recently returned this May to Deep Underground Poetry; I'd been gone since last October. I saw you left shortly after I did when I went to see you upon my return.
I am glad, most glad, to see you return, luv. :-*
I've rather missed you, you know. I mean, speaking of allure and charisma, you've been abundantly blessed. :-*
I have been struggling through it. ;-p Not quite a year of reading, luv. I only recently returned this May to Deep Underground Poetry; I'd been gone since last October. I saw you left shortly after I did when I went to see you upon my return.
I am glad, most glad, to see you return, luv. :-*
I've rather missed you, you know. I mean, speaking of allure and charisma, you've been abundantly blessed. :-*
6th Sep 2015 3:04am
Have to make a musical allusion; this is the despair of Pink Floyd, but with a modicum of hope, like the band, Sade. Also see a relection of how women in general are socialized. Touches the heart strings in a gigantic way.
