real men dont cry

my Larisa died five years ago this day
she fought a good fight
but cancer stole her from me
I didn't cry
I hide that pain
I stayed strong for her
for our children
I wiped there tears
and comforted there fears
and told myself
real men don't cry
stay strong.....

five years I've held this pain
this loss
this empty
my children see happy
strong
hero
real men don't cry
inside...I feel...

five years....

today I woke from a dream
my Larisa by my side
she said she understands
the pain
the lonely
the empty
she says "sweetie you need to let it out"
I whisper "real men don't cry"
she laughs her soft laugh
"my warrior, so strong for all to see.
you need to be free"
I whisper "I don't know how"
"let me help you my love"
she reaches inside
she hugs my soul
in the precious moment
my whole world falls apart
the walls inside
they disappear
and the tears
oh god the tears
they wash over me
like a river
and I am set free